两把刀

No english translation: I need to sleep

　几个月前，我对钢刀感上了兴趣。与白钢比，用钢铁制造的刀刃比较好保持锐利。短处就是很容易生锈，不细心照顾就完了。

　回到家时就到处找钢刀。妈说：“厨房里的抽屉好像有一把，你去找找。”翻了几次，找了老半天都找不到。“那就不知去哪儿了。问婆婆看她有没有。”

　我给外婆打个电话，问有没有钢刀。她答：“你要生锈铁的？有，有。这把很好用的，只是照顾比较麻烦些所以我不用它。有点重，碎骨很好用。四姨过来时我叫交给你。”

　“碎骨？不不，我很少切大块的肉，找的是菜刀。又薄又轻，要切很快的。”
　“生锈铁的菜刀就没有了。你为什么不用白钢？生锈铁很麻烦的。”
　“我知道，只是好玩些。没关系，我去店里找找。谢谢。”

　下一回见到外婆时，她拿了一把刀给我。公公听到了我找着刀就出去买了一把白钢刀。外婆跟他说是要生锈铁的，他又去换了一把钢刀回来。这是一把片肉刀，没碎骨刀那么粗，但比菜刀重了些。销了刀刃之后，这把刀真是很好用。带猪皮，肥肉和瘦肉的花肉都可以切成一毫米薄的肉片。

　但我还没得到我的钢菜刀。去几间杂货问了，终于放弃。只好买把白钢菜刀。这把刀全都是银色的，虽然相当大，但是很轻。抓了在手中的感觉很好，马上就想切东西了。回到家给刀刃削了削，随便抓起了一刻蒜头就给它切成薄片。

剧本，第六部

English translation available below

序幕
第一幕
第二幕
第三幕
第四幕


第五幕

（A）
人物：胡小姐，陈一维
场景：某餐厅里
语文：普通话

胡小姐：十号的那个男人长得很帅。真是可惜。。。
陈一维：（抬起头望向十号桌，见四个男人。）那个蓝衣的？
胡小姐：嗯。蓝色有斑条的。
陈一维：你又知道是同性恋的？
胡小姐：我刚才去收东西时看到他的动作很女性。
陈一维：可能他是异性的，但有一点女性啊。
陈一维：去碰一碰机会啦，跟他拿他的电话号码。
胡小姐：然后可以跟他说是你要的。

（十号桌的客人准备离开。穿蓝衣的男人走向厕所。胡小姐和陈一维两人站在bar外。）

胡小姐：肯定是同性的。
陈一维：为什么？我没有注意到。
胡小姐：他走路摇摇摆摆的。
陈一维：哦。
胡小姐：而且他一直都在望着你。
陈一维：（不安心）Err...


（B）
人物：胡小姐，陈一维
场景：某餐厅里
语文：普通话


（晚了，餐厅里只有几个客人还没离开。陈一维在蹲在bar里添饮品冰箱。）

胡小姐：老板很怪。他走出去然后给别人的车模了一手。
陈一维：啊？
胡小姐：他出去用手指摸了别人的车。
陈一维：（摆着啤酒）还好不是摸别人的老婆。
胡小姐：哈哈，他不会摸别人的老婆的。
陈一维：是摸别人的老公。


（下班时，两人在收拾各自的东西。）

陈一维：（向外望了一眼）哦，怪不得他去摸别人的车呀。
胡小姐：什么？
陈一维：是辆Mazda RX7。我也会去摸。
胡小姐：（向外望）刚才不是这辆，是卡车。
陈一维：是什么？
胡小姐：Truck。
陈一维：哦，那就真的是怪。

（第五幕终）


***

Act 5

(A)

Characters: Ms. Hu, Lao Chen
Scene: a restaurant
Language: Mandarin

Ms. Hu: That guy at table 10 is cute. Such a pity…
Lao Chen: (looks up at table 10 and sees 4 men) The one in the blue shirt?
Ms. Hu: Yup, blue with stripes.
Lao Chen: How do you know he’s homosexual?
Ms. Hu: I noticed him when I was clearing the table. His actions are a bit feminine.
Lao Chen: Maybe he is heterosexual, but a bit girly.
Lao Chen: Try your luck, go get his phone number.
Ms. Hu: Yes, and tell him it’s you who wants it.

(Table 10 prepares to leave. The man in blue goes towards the toilets. Ms. Hu and Lao Chen wait beside the bar.)

Ms. Hu: Definitely gay.
Lao Chen: What? I wasn’t looking.
Ms. Hu: He walks with his hips swinging.
Lao Chen: Oh.
Ms. Hu: And he kept staring at you.
Lao Chen: (Disconcerted) Err…

(B)
Characters: Ms. Hu, Lao Chen
Scene: a restaurant
Language: Mandarin

(Near closing time, the restaurant was empty except for a few slow customers. Lao Chen was squatting in the bar replenishing the fridge.)

Ms. Hu: [The manager] is weird. He just went out and touched someone’s car.
Lao Chen: Huh?
Ms. Hu: He went outside and fingered other people’s car.
Lao Chen: (arranging beer bottles) Well at least he’s not fondling other people’s wives.
Ms. Hu: Haha, he would not fondle wives.
Lao Chen: Only husbands.

(At the end of the night, both were preparing to leave.)

Lao Chen: (looks outside) Oh, no wonder he fondled the car.
Ms. Hu: What?
Lao Chen: It’s a Mazda RX-7. I would have fingered it too.
Ms. Hu: (looks outside) It wasn’t this car earlier. It was a truck.
Lao Chen: A what?
Ms. Hu: 卡车
Lao Chen: Oh. Then he is really weird.

(End Act 5)




中文文章

Interesting reads

Small scale calligraphy

With that microscope, I can now get preposterously high resolution images of small objects. The characters you see below are all less than 6 mm in height. If you look closely enough you can actually see the paper’s fibrous texture.

The advantage of writing at such small scales is that the pencil strokes’ thickness variations are comparable to the character’s size, just like writing with a brush. By controlling the force exerted on the graphite tip, the characters can be given some…erm…character.

The following characters (except for the last two) are from various people’s names.






















Photographs

无聊文章

周日中午天气晴。温暖的阳光从高处射下，白云皑皑在空中慢飘，海风微微地吹着。

空气干燥，不带水分。在远方，清楚地见到墨尔本中心的高楼往天举。氮蓝的长空和碧蓝的海洋仿佛在水平线会面。

海面的波浪往岸行进，越近岸，波幅越大。离岸十多米，波峰就开始带上白色的泡沫帽。波浪终于猛烈的打上沙滩，消失在一团白泡中。


如果坐在个可以避阳光的地方读书、喝咖啡，多么舒服。

但我得打工。


冬天后的晴天都会有很多人出门玩，而又是澳洲庆祝父亲节的一天。餐馆的客人不停地来，如千年不停的海浪在岸暴打，连坚固的石头都磨碎成沙粒。

傍晚下了一场雨，雨云把阳光挡了，冷风吹着来。眨眼间，海边的人都消失了。幸好天气转冷，不然晚餐又要忙几个小时。


***

如果发现有任何的错误、语病等，请读者指教。谢谢。


中文文章

剧本，第五部

Non-rigorous English translation available below.

序幕
第一幕
第二幕
第三幕


第四幕

（A）
人物：Vivian，陈一维
场景：某餐厅里
语文：普通话

（晚还早，餐馆里只有两桌的客人。陈一维在bar里的洗碗盆边洗杯子。）

（厨房的双门打开，Vivian出现。她在角落停了一会，仔细地观察工作时间表。之后顺手拿起了自己的杯子，喝了两小口的茶，再把杯子放下。）

Vivian：（转向陈一维）阿Tan，你是喜欢男的或是喜欢女的？
陈一维：（马上抬起头望着Vivian，停止洗杯）哈？当然是女的啦！
Vivian：哦。。。
陈一维：你为什么又会问到这点？
Vivian：没有啦，因为这边很多男人都是喜欢男的嘛。。。
陈一维：哎，虽然是多选择，但是（厨房里的铃响了一声，Vivian转身准备进厨房拿菜，一面听陈一维的那句，一面向厨房走）我的internal structure就是喜欢女的。
（Vivian开了门，呆在中间。陈一维说完，她就消失如厨房。）

（送出客人的菜时忙了一会，几分钟后才可继续谈。）

陈一维：你为什么刚才会那么干脆地问我那个问题的？
Vivian：不然你要我怎么样问你？
陈一维：啊，也是的。只是没想到有人会问这种那么personal的东西。。。
Vivian：（手拿了桌布准备察桌）但是这边很多gay的男人。你也应该知道吧。。。
陈一维：啊，对。
Vivian：（从bar里拿了察桌的一块布）除了你和余先生，男的全都是gay的。
陈一维：（把手伸到架里拿匙叉和纸巾）是咯，我以前SMS给我的妈妈说这边很多这种人时，她立刻打个电话过来问。我跟她说没有东西的啦。
Vivian：哈哈。

（Vivian走向空桌，陈一维跟在后。她把桌察干净了，就离开。陈一维把纸巾和匙叉摆在桌上。）


（B）

人物：张小姐，陈一维
场景：某咖啡店里
语文：普通话

（张小姐和陈一维坐在一张小圆桌前。桌上摆着一本书，两杯咖啡，一部手机和一个提包。）

陈一维：昨晚Vivian问我喜欢男的或喜欢女的。
张小姐：哈，真的？我没听到的？
陈一维：那时你不在，你好像上了楼上或在厨房里。
张小姐：哦，那你怎么回答？
陈一维：我说，当然是喜欢男的啦！
陈一维：我的样子很gay吗？。。。
张小姐：（急着插了嘴）你等下。你刚才说什么？
陈一维：哦，我说，我的样子很gay吗？
张小姐：（把手指转了半圈，表示‘退回去’）不是，再前一句。
陈一维：哪一句？啊，我说我是。。。哦，我跟你讲错了。但是我跟Vivian说的是对的。
张小姐：我给你吓了一跳。。。

（第四幕终）


***

Act 4

(A)

Characters: Vivian, Yee Wei
Scene: a restaurant
Language: Chinese/ Mandarin

(It was still early, and only two tables were occupied by customers. Yee Wei washes glasses in the bar’s sink.)

(The kitchen’s double doors open, and Vivian appears. She stops at a corner for a while, scrutinising the shift timetable. She picks up her glass, takes two sips of tea, and puts the glass down.)

Vivian: (faces Yee Wei) Tan, do you like guys or girls?
Yee Wei: (raises his head to look at Vivian, stops washing glasses) Huh? Of course I like girls!
Vivian: Oh…
Yee Wei: Why do you ask?
Vivian: Nothing; a lot of guys here prefer males…
Yee Wei: Aih, there may be more choices for me, but (a bell rings in the kitchen, Vivian turns towards the kitchen, listening to Yee Wei speak while making her way to the kitchen) my internal structure is such that I like females.

(Vivian opens the kitchen doors, and waits at the doorway. When Yee Wei finishes speaking, she disappears into the kitchen.)
(They busy over the delivery of dishes for some minutes, before resuming their conversation.)

Yee Wei: Why did you ask that question so bluntly?
Vivian: And how else should I ask?
Yee Wei: Yes, very true…
Vivian: Apart from you and Mr Yu, the guys here are all gay.
Yee Wei: (reaches into a rack to get some cutlery and napkins) Yea, when I texted my mother telling her that many people here are of this sort, she immediately phoned me. I had to reassure her it’s ok.
Vivian: Haha.

(Vivian moves towards an empty table, Yee Wei follows behind. She wipes the tabletop clean, and departs. Yee Wei arranges the napkins and cutlery on the table.)


(B)

Characters: Tracy, Yee Wei
Language: Chinese/ Mandarin

Yee Wei: Yesterday, Vivian asked me if I like guys or girls.
Tracy: Oh, really? I did not hear that.
Yee Wei: You were not there; I think you were upstairs or in the kitchen.
Tracy: Oh… so how did you reply?
Yee Wei: I said, of course I like guyss!
Yee Wei: Do I really look that gay?...
Tracy: (interrupts hastily) Wait, what did you say?
Yee Wei: Ah, I asked if I really look that gay.
Tracy: (twirls index finger in the air drawing semicircles, indicating ‘one step back’) No, before that.
Yee Wei: Which sentence? Ah, I said I perfe… Oh, I made a mistake. But I told Vivian the correct details.
Tracy: Ah, that gave me a shock…

(End Act 4)



中文文章

Interesting reads

描写文：乘电车记

电车转着弯时，轮子与铁道交擦，发出咿咿呀呀的吵声。

转进了车站，三扇车门齐开，外面只间黑暗。若干乘客下了车，在漆黑的夜景中消失了。

不久后，灯闪笛响警告了一会，自动门闭了起来。电车准备再出发了。

突然，车厢里大部分的灯灭了，而空调机也停止行动。明亮的车厢变成阴暗而平静的环境，乘客默默地注意情况。

车顶的电器嗒嗒响了几声，车里又有电流了。日光灯闪了闪着起，空调器又继续嗡嗡地吹风。乘客见了，安心地各自发呆，阅读，听音乐或玩手机。

电车开动了不超几寸，又出现问题。车灯再灭，紧急刹车猛然活激起来，暴烈地把车停住。

这重复了五六次，车厢时明时暗，动住不决，乘客开始不耐烦了。一个十五六岁的少年骂了几句粗话，催着电车快动。


***

写这篇文章的目的是为了把自己的语文水准提高。如果发现有任何的错误、语病等，请读者指教。谢谢。


中文文章

切辣椒记

A dodgy narration in Chinese, heavily inspired by the wuxia author Jin Yong (金庸).
Half-baked, almost direct English translation available below.


一把刚削过的刀斜着在切菜板上，尖锐的刀刃在明亮的灯光下反光。

抓住利刀的刀师开始动手，把刀刃在切菜板上往前后地推拉。左手拿起一条通红的小辣椒，渐渐地推入刀底。

高速移动的刀把辣椒割成一圈圈的红丝。切完后，抓刀的右手停止动作，左手拿了另一条辣椒准备切成细圈。

这耍刀高手是陈一维，他是一位没有师父的学生，刀术是从经验和研究过程体会到的。他的父亲磨削刀功能精明，母亲又对利刀有鉴赏，俩人用刀都端正的。

切了几条辣椒后觉得顺利起来了，越切越快，越切越薄。辣椒丝切得准确，厚度不超越一毫米，每条切到了蒂才停止。

这时，一位同事经过而见到他的刀术。同事心中惊了一会儿，停步注视，道：“哇，你切东西很厉害咧！”

陈一维止手，抬起头来，答道：“我是喜欢玩刀的。” 说完了就继续切辣椒。

同事道：“哦。。。没有人教过你的吗？”刀师没抬起眼，轻轻地摇了头，答：“没有。”

同事望了一会儿，转回头叫道：“老板，老板！你来看看。”吃着晚餐的老板抬起头，问：“看什么？”她答：“看他切辣椒，很厉害。”


***

A recently sharpened knife rested diagonally on a cutting board, its cutting edge glinting in the bright lights.

The knife handler started working, the knife edge sliding back and forth along the chopping board. His left hand held a bright red chilli, which he advanced slowly under the blade.

The fast moving knife cut through the chilli, slicing it into little circular rings. Having finished with the first chilli, he reached for another chilli to be decimated in the same manner.

This highly skilled knife-player is Lao Chen, a student without a master, who picked up his cutting skills from experience and analysis. His father could sharpen blades like no other, his mother appreciates sharp knives; both used knives carefully, properly.

After slicing through several chillies, he became adapted to the motions, and started to cut faster and slice thinner. The chilli slivers were cut with accuracy, all of them no more than 1mm thick, the knife only stopping when the stem was reached.

A passing colleague saw his knife skills. With a start, she stopped to observe and exclaimed, “Wow, your cutting is really amazing!”

Lao Chen paused to look at the colleague and explained, “I like to play with knives….” He then resumed slicing

The colleague asked, “Oh…no one taught you this?” Without looking up, he shook his head gently and said, “No.”

She watched for a moment, before turning around to the manager, “Boss, boss! Come see this.” The manager, who was eating his dinner, raised his eyes, asking, “See what?” “Come see him cut chillies, its amazing,” she replied.


中文文章

Interesting reads

No English translation below; don't bother scrolling.


今天整天的工作后觉得很厌倦。不是因为工作了一连两班，而是没有跟人接触的感觉。

对这个感觉，我也认为有点怪。我自己曾经被称为一个antisocial的人，不很需要每小时每分钟和别人一起才会满意的。就可能是这原因所以我对数学，科学和写作有相当深奥的研究。我是有时间的。

可能今天比一般的星期二不同。平时的晚班都有两三个人打工，而今天林小姐有事情不能上班。平时上周二晚班的胡小姐和张小姐也回了中国度假，大厨师又因为有朋友从大马来到而请了假。

从厨房踏如餐厅，都是得静悄悄，漆黑一片的。


我坐在餐桌前，孤零零地用餐。桌边的几盏灯都开了，但餐厅大部分还是暗暗的。在外面，天空慢慢地变暗了，透入前门玻璃窗的照明也渐渐地减少。

在门外，偶尔会见到有人在走廊行过门口。从餐厅里望出去，行人好像从一个窗口跨到另一个窗口，再跨到另一个窗口。在阴暗的黄昏照明下，外面的颜色看起来没那么鲜艳，似乎全都被涂上了一层灰漆。加上那几扇门把声音阻挡了，就仿佛在看一部很久的电影，没有颜色，没有声音。


中文文章

Digital macro pencil calligraphy

Edited 11 June 2006: English translation added below.


今天中午手有点痒，就选了几个简单的字练书法。谁知，简简单单的‘那’一个字，写了数百次还不是百分之百的满意。

对，没打错，真的是写了数百次。准确地说，写了一千一百次左右。听了也会吓死人。。。


印上方格的纸有20×30 个格子。


今天写了差不多 20×30×5.5 = 3300 个字了


‘那’字要写得美是超难的。要写得好看是蛮容易的，但如果想再进一步要写得美，那就不容易了。也可能是我用的工具不适合我的要求，应该用的是毛笔，不是铅笔。






我得买支毛笔了。。。




***

Feeling a little restless this afternoon, I picked a few simple characters to work on my non-existent calligraphy skills. Little did I know, even a simple character like那 can be hideously difficult to perfect. I wrote it hundreds of times, and I’m still not satisfied.

That’s right, hundreds of times. To be precise, it’s about 1100 times.


Each printed sheet has 20×30 squares.


I wrote approximately 20×30×5.5 = 3300 words today.

This 那 is surprisingly challenging to write beautifully. To write it legibly is easy, but to raise the standard from legible to beautiful, that is not easy. But then, I could be using the wrong tools- I should use a brush, not a pencil.






I should get a brush…




Personal

剧本，第四部

两天前，小李飞刀发了一封电邮过来，问那“romantic saga”的刷本何时才有下一部。

我不很喜欢把自己的感情透露给全世界看（也不是说有数百人来读我的文章），就估计刷本应该没再写下去了。

正巧今天有些出奇的事件发生，所以刷本又加上了一幕。也刚好这件事不会把自己显露了太多。

序幕
第一幕
第二幕


***

第三幕
人物：余先生，张小姐，老板，陈一维，餐馆客人
场景：某餐管里
语文：普通话

（余先生从前门入餐馆，走到后面去拿饭。经过在擦干匙叉的陈一维时停下打招呼。）

陈一维：老余，你好！好久没见了。
余先生：（用手拍了陈一维的背两下）你好，阿Tan。
陈一维：吃饭吃饭。我们都吃饱了。
余先生：好，好。



（余先生吃了晚饭后，餐馆也开了不久，暂时只有一桌坐了客。老板在店前的柜台接了电话，张小姐在给顾客点菜，余先生在准备饮品给客人，陈一维在bar里把中午洗干净的杯子摆回原位。）

（余先生把可乐和啤酒送到台，便走回到bar和陈一维谈天。）

[ 余先生说话有上海口音，听不惯的人总是听不清楚。而且说话说得很快，句子在脑里还没造完就开始讲了，造成有些是听起来如口吃。]


余先生：你，你和［　她　］怎么了？
陈一维：没什么啊。
余先生：啊？！一点发展都没有？
陈一维：那就有。没那么慢吧。
余先生：好好，约了她出去吗？
陈一维：也有啊，去喝茶等。都几次了。
余先生：有牵手了吗？
陈一维：（吃了一惊，目瞪口呆了一会儿）
陈一维：（笑着说）哪里有这么快！
余先生：太慢了。你太慢了。
陈一维：不会啦，这么急干嘛。

（第三幕终）


中文文章

Personal

书法

近来写字时开始注意字体了，发现多年来写的字都很不好看。一开始研究，就很快的有进步了。





以上两词是用铅笔在纸上写，之后用 Photoshop 调整颜色。不错吧。


***

A few days ago, I started paying attention to my script, and realised that they have been ugly all these years. Much has improved since I started analysing to the strokes.

The above characters were written with a pencil on paper, and adjusted with Photoshop. Not bad, eh?

I'll stop writing in Chinese for the time being

English translation and more below.


我想我暂时不会努力写中文文章了。目前，重要的是把词汇学大，对语法熟悉。写作在这两方面是无法协助的，要多阅读、翻词典才行。

在过去了的几个星期，发觉自己有很不错的进步。开始时，许多简单常用的词都认不出，例如：无聊、获得、埋葬、虚心等。现在，读新闻报告时虽然不是每个词都明，但是文章所传达的我看得懂。

在阅读的过程中，也对亲戚朋友名字的意思了解了一些。

知识渊博的科学家。
鼎鼎大名的大臣。
姿态如君的校友。
妖媚的表妹。
英俊的弟弟。
人才光耀的校友。
打球优越的黑人。
八打灵的圣贤。
杰出的同窗。
善良的总统。


***

For the time being, I’ll be less diligent in my Chinese writing. At the moment, the most important aspect of my education is to vastly improve my vocabulary and be familiar with the grammar and sentence structures. To this end, I will be reading and looking up the dictionary; writing is of no help now.

I feel I’ve made decent progress over the past weeks. When I started I had trouble recognising simple characters like … I’ll not embarrass myself by publishing that sample list here. I can now read news articles, although not to absolute comprehension.


***

On a separate note, I’ve unexpectedly got 2 very interesting questions on my hands, one geometry, the other higher arithmetic.

The higher arithmetic one is particularly fascinating (because it can be written succinctly):


a raised to the power of b is congruent to 1 modulo (a-1) for all a and b that are natural numbers

It’s a generalised statement on one of the key arguments used in solving the JFE8555 problem. Previously, it had never been rigorously proven in solving that problem, although the numerical examples gave (me) ample confidence in the equation.

It’s a two parameter problem, so proof by induction is not likely to work. It’s going to be difficult.



Personal

小费乐园

No English translation provided (yet); it's too mundane to bother with the translating now. This is merely a sentence structuring exercise.

好了，别笑了。我也知这题目有点废。


今天我五点半到餐馆时，见到餐厅的灯都开了，而且四号桌有四位女人在吃晚餐。老板也到了，还在招待着他们。我平时到时，餐厅都是漆黑一片，老板也还没来，别说有客人在吃饭。

吃了我们的晚饭后，老板，胡小姐和我站在bar边谈天。原来这四个客人是在店外问老板可不可在内吃晚餐，她们六点钟有节目。有两位是从美国来的，他们都是医科学生，来这儿参加一个会议。

我一听到‘美国’这词，就马上精神起来，说道：“美国人给的小费比较多的。”
“她们都是学生啊。”老板提醒我。
“没关系，美国的culture就是要给小费。多数给百分之十吧。”我反驳道。
“不是全部都是美国人。有一个是Newcastle的。”
“有本地人就可能会跟他们说不用给那么多的小费。她是来自哪一个Newcastle？”
老板愣了一会儿，我就详细得再问：“是英国的那个Newcastle，或则New South Wales的那个？New South Wales 的那Newcastle是个工业区。”
“要知道就去问他们啦！”

四个客人离了后，我和胡小姐便整理桌子，洗杯子等。在餐厅前的柜台，老板手中抓着两张紫色的纸币，把钱摆了几摆，喊到后面的bar笑着说：“有小费啊！”之后把纸币塞入小费的罐里。

下班时，小费就平分给胡小姐和我。老板和厨师们是没有份拿小费的。这四人给的就一人分了五元，但因为那时还没开始工作，都不用下手服务那四个人。可说是免费的益处。

华文 or English?

Slipshod English translation below.



近来几天都没在博客登，精神都贯注在语文学上。其他的兴趣，如数学、物理、摄影和英语写作都忽略在旁。

昨晚还没睡着的时候有想一想，我为何这么努力学习华文？

目前，我的希望是可以把自己的语文水准提高，高度如现在的英语写作能力。不是说我的英语很行，我还不可靠写文章赚钱的。但也是比一般上的人好了。这路途很远，不定可到终点。

那么是不是本身的自我的影响？很可能的。

但还有另一个问题：语文知识不进则退。全神贯注在华文上，英语就自然会渐渐的腐败。怎么好？

真是个难答的问题。我先去吃晚餐吧。

* 如果见到任何的语病或错误，请说一说。谢谢。


***

I’ve not been updating much lately- much of my attention has been focused on language development. My other interests such as mathematics, physics, photography and writing have been neglected as well.

Yesterday night before I fee asleep, I thought about this issue. Why am I making such a great effort to learn Chinese?

At the moment, my hope is to elevate my linguistic skills to another level, to be on par with my current English writing abilities. This is not to say my English writing is anything to boast about; I cannot depend on sentence crafting to earn a living. Still, it’s probably better than most people’s. The journey to my objective is long, and I might not make it to the end.

Is it my ego? That may be the case.

There is another problem- language skills either improve, or slip away. Concentrating on Chinese will come at the expense of English. So, what now?

Difficult questions, these. I’ll go have my dinner now.



Personal

剧本，第三部

No English translation below; don’t bother scrolling.

序幕
第一幕


***

第二幕

旁白：想回几天前的事。。。


（A）
人物：余先生，陈一维
场景：某间餐馆内
语文：普通话

（时间不早了，还逗留着的客人都已吃完了晚餐在聊天。两位服务员都下班了，只剩下余先生和陈一维与老伴管理餐厅。）

（服务员们用的厨上见一个小布袋，看起来如装手提电话的袋子。）

陈一维：（拿起布袋研究）这个是谁的你知道吗？
余先生：一定是［　她　］的。男人不会用这种东西的啊。
陈一维：（把布袋放下）对对。。。
余先生：你喜欢她吗？
陈一维：谁？
余先生：［　她　］。
陈一维：（慢言）怎么说喜欢？
余先生：你喜欢不喜欢她？
陈一维：（静一会儿）有点咯。
余先生：（微笑）啊，好了好了。
余先生：［　她　］人性很好的。也很有气质。
陈一维：什么气质？
余先生：就是他的态度，很有好感，怎么说。。。
陈一维：（从bar拿了一支笔和一小张纸）是不是这么写？（在纸上猜写了“气子”两个字。）
余先生：不是不是，来来我写给你。（拿了笔，在纸上写了“气质”两个字。）
陈一维：啊，谢谢。
余先生：你有她的电话号码吗？
陈一维：没有。
余先生：跟他拿了吧！
陈一维：呵呵。。。
余先生：你就加油啦！


旁白：回到目前来。。。

（B）
人物：余先生，Tracey，陈一维
场景：某间餐馆内
语文：普通话

（一维在bar内洗杯子。余先生来准备饮品给客人。）

余先生：你有了［　她　］的电话号码吗？
陈一维：前几天都没见到她。
余先生：哦。我有她的号码，但是你自己跟她那好了。我给你，就不好了。
陈一维：对，很。。。（在脑海中找着对的词）很鬼祟。
余先生：找一天约她出去吃晚餐啦。或者去喝杯咖啡也好。
陈一维：（没出声）
余先生：（准备好了饮品）她也应感觉到了。她很聪明的，一定会知道。
余先生：（转身离开bar）你加油。
陈一维：哈，谢谢你的鼓励。

Tracey：你近来有忙着什么东西吗？
陈一维：没有什么。学着读华文咯，还是很辛苦，慢得要死！而且是儿童书呢！
Tracey：（吃惊）你干吗要现在学读华文？会讲就行了嘛！
陈一维：不能，我的华文还是很差。连讲的vocabulary都不很好。
Tracey：哦。。。
陈一维：Vocabulary怎么说？
Tracey：词汇。
Tracey：我明白你的意思了。

Screenplay, part 2

Sort of a continuation from the Prologue (no English translation for the prologue).

English translation provided at the end of the Chinese text. The screenplay format was used as it would allow a decent level of detail to be conveyed without having to resort to fanciful sentence crafting. Anyway, I am unable to produce decent Chinese sentences. Give me time. Lots of time.

Note to Mr. Hon SY: I doubt you’d want to watch this performance on stage- it’s probably too dull. You want sex, drugs and violence, not small talk about today’s weather.


***

第一幕
人物：陈一维，林小姐，老板
场景：某餐厅之bar
语文：普通话

（餐馆以关了，只剩三人打扫与准备给明天中午开门。林小姐在bar里的洗碗盆洗杯和茶壶、一维从厨房的大冰橱拿各种饮品填满bar的冰橱、老板在整理餐厅的桌。）

林小姐：老板，你须不须要请新的工人?
老板：为什么呢？
林小姐：我有一个朋友找着part time工作。
老板：（走到bar前根林小姐谈）哦，这样。他有做过的吗？
林小姐：没有。
老板：没有experience怎么做？
林小姐：可以学的吗。怎么样都一定比那个沙发好啦。你知道吗，刚才她多么过分。这里有一大堆杯，她都没有来帮洗，还在那边（指着餐厅里的走廊）走上走下不知干吗。

（老板没出声。）

一维：(蹲在bar里的冰箱旁排饮品的罐和瓶子)可以啦，没有经验还可学的。
林小姐：对呀。你看一维也做得很好吗。
老板：（对一维）阿陈，你以前在那里工作？
一维：（停止填冰橱，转向老板）什么工作？
老板：做hospitality的工作啊。
一维：我没有做过的。这是第一次。
老板：（吃一经。大马音调强）哈？你以前不是更我讲你有做过？
一维：（笨笨的微笑）哦。。。没有办法啦，要找一个开始。
老板：（大马音调强）哎呀，你骗我啊？要跟你罚款五块钱的啦。。。

（林小姐小声的笑。）

（老板走开打扫餐厅、一维继续填饮品、林小姐洗杯。）

（第一幕终）


***

Act 1
Characters: Tan Yee Wei, Miss Lim, Boss
Scene: the bar of a restaurant
Language: Chinese/Mandarin

(The restaurant has closed for the day, and only three people remain to tidy up and prepare for the next business day’s lunch opening. At the bar’s washing sink, Miss Lim washes used glasses and tea pots. Yee Wei is bringing various bottles and cans of drinks from the large fridge in the kitchen to restock the bar. Boss is tidying the dining area.)

Miss Lim: Boss, do you need new workers?
Boss: Why do you ask?
Miss Lim: I’ve got a friend who is looking for a part time job.
Boss: (walks to the bar to talk to Miss Lim) Ah, I see. Any working experience?
Miss Lim: No.
Boss: How will she work without experience?
Miss Lim: She can learn on the job. It will be better than that Sofa anyway. You know, she was really overdoing it earlier this evening. There was a huge pile of dirty glasses here, and she did not come help do them, and was walking up and down there (points to the aisle in the dining area) doing nothing.

(Boss keeps quiet.)

Yee Wei: (squatting next to the bar’s fridge arranging bottles and cans of drinks.) It’s doable, she can learn even if she hasn’t got experience.
Miss Lim: Yeah. Look, Yee Wei is also doing quite well.
Boss: (to Yee Wei) Tan, where did you work previously?
Yee Wei: (pauses stocking the bar, faces Boss) What work?
Boss: Your previous job in hospitality.
Yee Wei: I haven’t worked before. This is my first time.
Boss: (Surprised. Speaks with thick Malaysia Chinese accent) What? Didn’t you tell me when you came in you’ve got experience?
Yee Wei: (smiles sheepishly) Ah yes…I had no choice. Had to start somewhere…
Boss: (speaks with thick Malaysian Chinese accent) Aiyah, you lied to me? I must give you a fine of $5…

(Miss Lim laughs quietly)

(Boss returns to tidying the dining area, Yee Wei continues stocking the fridge, Miss Lim washes the remaining glasses.)


(End Act 1)


***

Appended 2200 1/5/06:

As the cliché goes, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. As much as I dislike clichés, Mr Hon is one perfect example of this. The following plot is written by him, slightly edited for consistency with the original settings.

This section was not written by me, and is not based on true events.

（一维和林小姐在bar内工作。）
林小姐：一维，你说老板会请我朋友吗？他可是蛮需要找份工的。。
一维：你可以叫你朋友也骗骗老板嘛，说自己有experience。 你看，老板也不会很生气的。
林小姐：你都骗过一次啦，哪能用一样借口俩次的？（埋怨的眼神）
一维：嗯。。。那是因为你诚实嘛。。你是个。。乖女孩。。
林小姐：（甜蜜的笑容）是吗？可没人说过我乖呢！我看你样子都挺诚实的，真没想到你会骗人。你会不会也在骗我呢？
一维：当然不会！我跟你讲话一定很诚实的。
林小姐：哈哈。。咦？你干嘛脸都红啦？
一维：我，我。。。
（老板走到bar前）
老板：喂，你们做东西做得那慢啊？


(Yee Wei and Miss Lim work on their tasks in the bar.)
Miss Lim: Yee Wei, do you think Boss will hire my friend? She needs a job quite badly…
Yee Wei: You could ask her to lie to the Boss and say she has worked before. Look, he didn’t get too annoyed earlier anyway.
Miss Lim: (complainingly) You’ve already lied once, how can the same line be used again?
Yee Wei: Err, that’s because you are honest. You are a… good girl.
Miss Lim: (smiles sweetly) Really? No one told me that before! You look like a honest and morally integral person, who would’ve thought you’d tell lies. Are you bluffing me now?
Yee Wei: Of course not! I will always tell you the truth.
Miss Lim: Haha… Eh? Why are you blushing?
Yee Wei: I…
(Boss walks towards the bar)
Yee Wei: Hoi, why are you two taking so long to finish up?

Reminder: this section was not written by me, and is not based on true events.


Personal

购买衣记

星期六那天，餐馆的老扳看着我的t-shirt，对我说最好穿长袖的衣。
我也迟早要买件黑衣，因为暂时穿的衣是表哥的。

今天星期一没上工，我就到Melbourne Central走走，找一件便宜的黑衣。购买的条件很简单-颜色只限黑，不可有其他颜色或花纹。而且价钱不可吓死我。

可惜的，要找件黑衣也不容易。在架上见到黑，就走过去看看。可是，大部分都有画上花纹的，不然价钱就有点贵，或者颜色原来是深蓝。走上走下都不见的多黑衣。

我现在可以承认我没有自己卖过衣裤。我本身穿衣随便，不注重时尚。差不多整齐就行了。有的时候，母亲带我去购买衣的时候，她会感得我很不耐烦。所以，很多次衣服都是妈妈一个人买的。而且，过新年的时候，阿姨表姨们有时会送一两件衣给我。造成，买衣裤的必要我一点都没有。

我在Melbourne Central里的Myer男幢部走了两圈都只看到一件不错的衣。算了吧，有一点点贵，还不会离谱。买了它就可回家吃饭。

到今日，我还不了解好看衣裤裙的人。我有是怕跟我的表哥逛街，就因为他很喜欢慢慢看衣裤。没有打算购买也每件每式都摸一摸。会闷死我的呢!

但是反回来看，这都是靠个人兴趣的。我猜，很多人也不明我对数学与物理学的兴趣。


Personal

Experimental formatting- Chinese screenplay

Edited 4th May 2006: a sloppy English translation has been appended to this post.


序幕
人物：陈一维，Tracey，大厨师，餐厅顾客
场景：某餐厅之bar

（餐厅顾客少。一维在bar内的洗碗盆洗杯子。Tracey在对面与他聊天。）

Tracey：你是从马来西亚来的是吗？
一维：对，靠近首都吉隆坡。那么你呢？
Tracey：我来自中国。
一维：中国哪一部？
Tracey：四川。

（厨房双门打开，大厨师升出上半身。）
大厨师：（对着一维，摆手叫他过去）来，来。有空就教你点东西。

（一维把杯子冲干净，双手抹干，跟大厨师入厨房。Tracey继续洗杯。）

大厨师：现在不忙就可指给你看怎么准备铁板鱿鱼。（拿出个木板， 到火炉，从旁拿一个铁钩，便用钩把炉上烧着的铁盘托到木板上。在铁盘上落些生洋葱，加些食油。从炉上拿起蜗。）如果很忙的话，我就把煮好的料倒在碗里。你要准备铁板然后把料倒上。最后加点酒上去，就好了。

（大厨师把蜗里的鱿鱼倒上铁盘，然后加上米酒。盘里啥了一声。）
（一维从厨房拿出铁板鱿鱼和一盘白饭，摆在客人桌上。）

一维：Your sizzling calamari and a steamed rice.
客人：Looks good. Thank you.
一维：Enjoy your dinner.

（一维回到bar边站。Tracey还洗着杯子。）

Tracey：今天是你第一天在这里工作？
一维：第二天。昨晚我也有来。
Tracey：你以前有在餐馆做过吗？
一维：没有。这是第一次。
Tracey：哦，那么以前做什么种工？
一维：近来都没有做工。
Tracey：（吃一小经，从洗碗盆望上）哇，好幸福呀！
一维：（不知如何回答）Errrr…

（两人静一阵。Tracey洗杯，一维注意着顾客们。）

Tracey：（想想后）读书时不用打工都瞒爽的。。。
一维：那是真的。时间多，压力也少。
Tracey：还可以参入各种学会和活动。
一维：对呀。

（两个客人从前门进入餐馆。）

Tracey：（把头轻轻地向前方点一点）有人到。

（一维拿两本菜板，去欢迎顾客。）

（序幕终）


***


Prologue
Characters: Yee Wei, Tracey, Head Chef, restaurant customers
Scene: A restaurant
Language: Chinese/Mandarin

(There are very few customers in the restaurant. Yee Wei is at the bar’s sink washing some glasses. Tracey stands across the bar.)

Tracey: You are from Malaysia, is that right?
Yee Wei: Yes, close to the capital Kuala Lumpur. Yourself?
Tracey: I’m from China。
Yee Wei: Which part of China?
Tracey: Szechuan.

(The kitchen’s double doors open and the Head Chef leans out.)

Head Chef: (To Yee Wei, waving his hands to invite him over) Come, come. I’ll show you around while we have time.

(Yee Wei finishes cleaning the cup, dries his hands and follows the Head Chef into the kitchen. Tracey takes over washing the remaining cups.)

Head Chef: Now that we’re not busy I’ll show you how to prepare a sizzling calamari dish.

(The Head Chef reaches for a wooden tray, heads towards the gas stoves and grabs an iron hook from a side counter. Using the iron hook, he manipulates the steel dish on the burner and puts it on the wooden tray. He then adds some raw onion pieces, a dash of oil and removes a wok from the main stoves.)

Head Chef: If we’re busy, I will pour the cooked calamari into a bowl here. You’ll have to prepare the hot plate and pour the calamari onto the dish. Finally, add a dash of cooking wine, and off you go.

(The Head Chef pours the calamari into the heated dish, and adds some wine. They make a noisy hiss as each ingredient contacts the hot metal.)
(Yee Wei brings the dish of sizzling calamari and a plate of rice to a customer’s table.)

Yee Wei: Your sizzling calamari and a steamed rice.
Customer: Looks good. Thank you.
Yee Wei: Enjoy your dinner.

(Yee Wei returns to the bar’s side. Tracey is still washing glasses.)

Tracey: Is this your first day here?
Yee Wei: Second day. I worked yesterday night too.
Tracey: I see. Have you worked in any other restaurants in the past?
Yee Wei: No. This is my first.
Tracey: Oh. So what kind of work did you do before?
Yee Wei: I haven’t worked in recent times.
Tracey: (Surprised, and looks up from the glasses) Wow, how fortunate!
Yee Wei: (speechless) Ermm…

(They keep quiet for a while. Tracey continues washing the glasses, Yee Wei keeps an eye on the customers.)

Tracey: (after some contemplation) It must be nice to not have to work while studying…
Yee Wei: That’s true. You have a bit more time and less stress.
Tracey: And you can join the activities of carious clubs and groups too.
Yee Wei: Yup.

(Two new customers enter the restaurant.)

Tracey: (Nodding gently towards the front of the restaurant) Customers.

(Yee Wei grabs two menus and goes forward to greets the new customers.)

(End Prologue)


Personal

The Autobiography of a Pencil

This is a Chinese language post designed to help me rediscover some lost linguistic skills.
English translation below.




上次提起了几个作文题目，有人要铅笔的自诉刚，也有一个朋友要上巴刹记与倒霉的一天。从三个选一个不容易，所以打算了把两个作文题目合起来。那么就把“三选一”的问题硕成了“三选二”。请别跟我说“三选一”和“三丢一”是一样的。

两个作文题目“倒霉的一天”和“铅笔的自诉”就合成“铅笔倒霉的一天”。

铅笔倒霉的一天

陈一维

我是一枝铅笔，性 Staedtler，无名。2B 级，长6.9寸，外色鲜黄涂黑斑，再加上金色的文字看起来十分健美。好可惜饮用者不只靠美观购买用具，否则用具商业就被我们Staedtler 一家完全控制。

如果饮用者把铅笔的纸盒观察一下，最引人注意的就是印上的六种语文。六语有包英文，法文，德文以及其他无名的欧洲语文。详细地观察下去，在一个小小的角落可找到四行马来文字：

12 Batang Pensel
Staedtler (M) BHD
6/6A Jalan Kilang
80350 Johore Baru

不知是开玩笑，看小亚洲，或是注重出口，但虽然是大马产品可是并没有马来文及华文。

我和同盒友的主人是个工程师名叫丽俐。她只用铅笔，不摸钢笔，所以时常购买一盒一盒的铅笔。主人的男朋友是个画家，也是个常用铅笔的人。男友呢，他用的笔跟我这种不同。他的画笔都是5B或6B级，十分的软，画出来的线黑得很，价钱也不便宜。

一天，丽俐有必要用枝笔，就损手夺了男友的一枝6B。男朋友不耐烦地说：“别用我的画笔。写了字不好画。”这一件事就很快地爆炸成大喊大叫的架。

吵了不久的架便有碗碟花瓶茶杯左丢右破。不只骂铅笔的架，还吵起过去了的事。

“你时常小便不冲水！”
“我妈的生日你连一张卡都没送！”
“你很懒，常要我用车子载上载下！”
“你用我的画笔！”
“只写下个电话号码！”

不知如何，吵架变成了打仗。丽俐从桌上抓了一枝笔（我），便把我当武器要插她的男朋友。插了几插成功了，插穿了他的肚。我感到很多层的东西。插过了外衣，皮肤，薄薄的一层肥，才终于穿入了胃胀。

这时候，我半身在男友的胃里，另一半还被丽俐的手抓着。丽俐很猖狂的，葱满狠毒，把我一手就折断，把我前半身留在男朋友的肚里。

血和早餐不停地流到地面上。







From my essay topics presented in the previous post, there were a few recommendations. Adrian suggested the Autobiography of a Pencil (he thought a pencil can be sexy) while Sonia wanted either Market Trip or a Dreadful Day. Choosing one from the three was not going to be easy, so I choose two instead. Now please do not point out that choosing one from three is equivalent to rejecting one from three.

The fusion essay would be A Pencil’s Dreadful Day.

A Pencil’s Dreadful Day

Tan Yee Wei

I am a pencil, surnamed Staedtler and nameless. Graded 2B, 6.9 inches long, finished in bright yellow paint and black stripes, and printed with gold lettering, I look robustly good. It’s a pity consumers do not buy stationery based on looks alone, otherwise the stationery business would be completely dominated by the Staedtler company.

If the consumer were to scrutinise a box of pencils, the first thing one would notice is that there are six languages printed on it. They include English, French, German and some other unnamed European languages. On further inspection, one can find 4 lines of Malay hidden away at a little corner:

12 Batang Pensel
Staedtler (M) BHD
6/6A Jalan Kilang
80350 Johore Baru

Either they must be joking, underestimating Asia, or concentrating on the export market, but it is a little strange to find a Malaysia manufactured product without Malay, nor Chinese.

Me and my boxmates were purchased by Lilly, an engineer. She prefers pencils to pens, and rarely ever uses pens, but buys boxes and of boxes of pencils. Her boyfriend was an artist, another great consumer of pencils. His pencils though, were different. They were either 5B or 6B grade, with soft tips, dark marks and an expensive price tag.

One day, Lilly needed to jot down some details, and grabbed one of her boyfriend’s 6B pencils. “Don’t use my drawing pencils; they are not good to sketch after you write with them,” he snapped at her impatiently. This matter rapidly exploded into a major argument.

A short moment of arguing later, dishes, vases and glasses were being flung around. Not only were pencils were involved, but they also fought over past issues.

“You never flush after using the toilet!”
“You didn’t even send my mother a card for her birthday!”
“You’re lazy, always asking to be brought here and there in my car!”
“You used my pencil!”
“Only to take down a telephone number!”
And so on…

Somehow, things turned violent. Lilly grabbed a pencil (me) from the table, and tried using it as a stabbing weapon against her boyfriend. She made several stabbing attempts before succeeding in piercing his abdomen. I felt myself piercing through several layers. There was the shirt, then the epidermis, a thin layer of fat, and then into the stomach itself.

At this moment, half of myself was in the boyfriend’s stomach, and the other half in Lilly’s grasp. Savagely, with poisonous hatred, she snapped me in half and left my front half in the boyfriend’s abdomen.

Blood and breakfast endlessly poured out onto the floor surface.








Personal

今日看到弟弟的网上日志以華文表達，感得十分的可惜。可惜我浪費了學好華文的機會。不是一个機會，不是兩个機會，而是數千數萬個好機會。

六年在華小求學並學得不很多。課本里得字，有很多读都读不出，別說要我把它写出來。我平時读英報，中文報不摸。六年級同考，成績英文數學兩個Ａ，國語（馬來文）兩個Ｂ，而母語包尾考得兩個Ｃ。失望得很。

四至六年級的華文与級任老師是陳美珠。我還記得她最明顯的語病是：“我听沒有。”有時要粗口的例子，她會說起：“你媽的他媽的。”以前不明，所以把她的例子当耳边風。

初中二、三的兩年，我的華文教師是個陳美麗老師。雖然上課多次看起來都很輕鬆很爽，但陳老師並沒忘了教书的責任。記得中三接近大考的那段時間，我們全班被老師大骂一頓因為有几位學生沒有专心溫习听写。沒記錯的話，我和渊沆就是這几條懶惰虫。少見中學的老師因為學业而生氣。副班長可能還記得這件事。

本人就停在這兒。下次再談吧。




大家請多多批評我的語文之長短处。謝謝。




Personal