剧本，第六部

English translation available below

序幕
第一幕
第二幕
第三幕
第四幕


第五幕

（A）
人物：胡小姐，陈一维
场景：某餐厅里
语文：普通话

胡小姐：十号的那个男人长得很帅。真是可惜。。。
陈一维：（抬起头望向十号桌，见四个男人。）那个蓝衣的？
胡小姐：嗯。蓝色有斑条的。
陈一维：你又知道是同性恋的？
胡小姐：我刚才去收东西时看到他的动作很女性。
陈一维：可能他是异性的，但有一点女性啊。
陈一维：去碰一碰机会啦，跟他拿他的电话号码。
胡小姐：然后可以跟他说是你要的。

（十号桌的客人准备离开。穿蓝衣的男人走向厕所。胡小姐和陈一维两人站在bar外。）

胡小姐：肯定是同性的。
陈一维：为什么？我没有注意到。
胡小姐：他走路摇摇摆摆的。
陈一维：哦。
胡小姐：而且他一直都在望着你。
陈一维：（不安心）Err...


（B）
人物：胡小姐，陈一维
场景：某餐厅里
语文：普通话


（晚了，餐厅里只有几个客人还没离开。陈一维在蹲在bar里添饮品冰箱。）

胡小姐：老板很怪。他走出去然后给别人的车模了一手。
陈一维：啊？
胡小姐：他出去用手指摸了别人的车。
陈一维：（摆着啤酒）还好不是摸别人的老婆。
胡小姐：哈哈，他不会摸别人的老婆的。
陈一维：是摸别人的老公。


（下班时，两人在收拾各自的东西。）

陈一维：（向外望了一眼）哦，怪不得他去摸别人的车呀。
胡小姐：什么？
陈一维：是辆Mazda RX7。我也会去摸。
胡小姐：（向外望）刚才不是这辆，是卡车。
陈一维：是什么？
胡小姐：Truck。
陈一维：哦，那就真的是怪。

（第五幕终）


***

Act 5

(A)

Characters: Ms. Hu, Lao Chen
Scene: a restaurant
Language: Mandarin

Ms. Hu: That guy at table 10 is cute. Such a pity…
Lao Chen: (looks up at table 10 and sees 4 men) The one in the blue shirt?
Ms. Hu: Yup, blue with stripes.
Lao Chen: How do you know he’s homosexual?
Ms. Hu: I noticed him when I was clearing the table. His actions are a bit feminine.
Lao Chen: Maybe he is heterosexual, but a bit girly.
Lao Chen: Try your luck, go get his phone number.
Ms. Hu: Yes, and tell him it’s you who wants it.

(Table 10 prepares to leave. The man in blue goes towards the toilets. Ms. Hu and Lao Chen wait beside the bar.)

Ms. Hu: Definitely gay.
Lao Chen: What? I wasn’t looking.
Ms. Hu: He walks with his hips swinging.
Lao Chen: Oh.
Ms. Hu: And he kept staring at you.
Lao Chen: (Disconcerted) Err…

(B)
Characters: Ms. Hu, Lao Chen
Scene: a restaurant
Language: Mandarin

(Near closing time, the restaurant was empty except for a few slow customers. Lao Chen was squatting in the bar replenishing the fridge.)

Ms. Hu: [The manager] is weird. He just went out and touched someone’s car.
Lao Chen: Huh?
Ms. Hu: He went outside and fingered other people’s car.
Lao Chen: (arranging beer bottles) Well at least he’s not fondling other people’s wives.
Ms. Hu: Haha, he would not fondle wives.
Lao Chen: Only husbands.

(At the end of the night, both were preparing to leave.)

Lao Chen: (looks outside) Oh, no wonder he fondled the car.
Ms. Hu: What?
Lao Chen: It’s a Mazda RX-7. I would have fingered it too.
Ms. Hu: (looks outside) It wasn’t this car earlier. It was a truck.
Lao Chen: A what?
Ms. Hu: 卡车
Lao Chen: Oh. Then he is really weird.

(End Act 5)




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