Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Macro photography of ice-cream

I recently purchased some ice-cream from the Nestle Heaven line of frozen confection. On a whim, I decided to take some macro shots of it.

The process involved a freezer-chilled plate and a warmed knife for cutting through brittle chocolate.

The first victim was of the “Chocolate Truffle” flavour. This is my favourite variant.

Click here for large size image

Someone had remarked that this is a “nice shot”, while another person said I have managed to make ice-cream look gross.

After about 10 minutes, which was not a very long time, the ice-cream was starting to turn into a soppy mess. It was due for consumption.

This evening, I got the Caramel Fudge flavour. I don’t like this as much as the Chocolate Truffle, but I wanted to try shooting this.

Click here for large size image

I ate this Caramel Fudge after the shoot.


Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Photography in Frankston

After my pilgrimage to the Albert Park circuit was complete, I arrived at the Spencer Street railway station. This is a fancy looking railway station, designed in the way most modern transport hubs are designed: very high ceiling, huge glass walls made of glass panels mounted to stainless steel struts, wavy roofline… the usual indicators.

Think KLIA, Chek Lap Kok airport or KL Sentral LRT station. That sort of thing.

I found out that the train to Frankston does not stop at Spencer Street Station. Terminus as large as an airport (not exactly, but the huge spaces gave that impression), and some trains don’t stop here. So I took a train to Melbourne Central, and was just in time to hop onto the Frankston-bound train right on the next platform. How convenient.

I was going to Frankston with the intention of taking a lot of photographs, and hoping that a decent proportion of them are good. Going on Sunday is much cheaper as the Sunday Saver ticket costs only $2.50 unlimited trips as opposed to $12.50. Frankston is a town far in the outskirts of Melbourne, being the last stop of the line, and taking an hour to arrive.

I had checked the sunset time beforehand, and at 7.28pm, the sun showed neither sign nor intention of setting. I must have remembered the wrong hour, so I hung around the beach for an hour.

There was a very strong breeze, and birds (I’ll refer to them as gulls regardless of accuracy) occasionally matched the speed of the wind and stayed at a stationary point in space. Of course, from the gull’s point of view, it was flying through the air, and the ground was moving through the air at the same speed as it was. Regardless, the relative velocity between the gull and myself was close to zero, and some of them hovered quite close to the ground. Made snapping pictures very easy.

After sunset at 8.28pm, I took the 8.40 train to Melbourne Central, arriving at 9.40. I arrived home at 10. 7 hours spent travelling, walking and taking photos.

An Ordinary Day at the Beach

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Grass by the Sea

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Leaf on a Grassy Sand Dune

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Golden Grains

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Fuzzy Seeds

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Sky I

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Gull I

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Gull II

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Gull III

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The Couple

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Sky II

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Sunset at the Beach

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Monday, November 28, 2005

My pilgrimage to an F1 GP circuit

Every year, the Australian F1 Grand Prix is held in Albert Park, just south of the Melbourne city centre. I recently came to the conclusion that if I did not even give the circuit a peek in my 2.5 years here, it will be a great loss of opportunity.

After my usual Sunday marketing routine, I took a tram to Albert Park. The lake in the middle of the circuit is huge. A rough estimate on Google Earth shows that it is about 1.79 kilometres at its widest distance.

When I arrived, I was rather lost and wandered around aimlessly, not knowing where exactly on the circuit I was at. I later found a map of the park facilities, and pin pointed my location at the end of Sector 1. I had actually arrived at the lake between Turn 2 and Turn 3, and randomly elected turn left instead of turning right (which would have brought me along the main straight and the paddock building).

From Turn 2, I walked along the edge of the lake first, until I arrived at Turn 9, before taking a few photographs and turning back to follow the race track back to Turn 5 and then catching a tram to the train station for my next destination.

Click here for large size image (142 kB)

Here’s an overview of Albert Park, with the circuit highlighted in blue, the turn numbers marked in red, sector boundaries in green and my path in yellow. Google Earth says the lake’s widest length is 1.79 kilometres, and my route was 3.03 kilometres.

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The end of Sector 2, between Turns 10 and 11
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This is the end of the second sector. The speed limit reads 50 km/h. During races, F1 cars scream through this portion at speeds well over 260km/h, and just after the yellow sign, would be travelling at about 288 km/h.

Click here for large size image (125 kB)

The view of the city centre from Turn 10. It’s quite a view, with water, trees, city skyline, and the sky.

As I was walking from Turn 10 towards Turn 7, I saw a black swan. I don’t know what the fuss about swans is; this is ugly. Regardless, I crouched down to take a macro shot of it. The bastard moved, not away, but actually waved its head inquiringly closer to the lens, screwing up my focus. This image is uncropped- the bird was really this close. 2 inches from the lens, I would guess.

Apex of Turn 6
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I arrived at Turn 6, and to my great excitement, I saw the kerbs! Their red-white colour had been painted over with a grassy green paint, but they were definitely there. The rumble strips with their saw-toothed profile at the exit of Turn 6 were visible across the road too.

Exit rumble strip at Turn 5
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From Turn 6, I followed the circuit to Turn 5, where I got up close and personal with the exit rumble strips. From here, I turned away from the circuit to take a tram to the train station to my next destination.

More photographs soon.


Friday, November 25, 2005

Is it a BMW M5?

On my way home from last week’s HRM examination, I saw a BMW 5 series across the street, with a delicious looking front air dam and large is alloy rims. It looked like the kind of an air dam that the M Division would mount on their M cars- gaping centre vent for the radiator and twin air scoops leading through the air filters to the combustion chambers.

Was it an M5?

I looked hard, turning my head progressively as I continued walking. I was curious, but not the extent of crossing the busy street and fondling it. I glanced ahead to make sure I was not walking into a lamp post, and continued staring at the grey BMW.

The problem, or perhaps plus point, about the M5 is that it is a reasonably well concealed high performance luxury saloon. From the exterior, there is very little indication of the 500 bhp available from its 10 throttle 40 valve engine, until the car whooshes past you, V10 engine wailing richly at 8000 rpm. And then it becomes clear, as distinct as night is from day, that this is the M5, with its four stainless steel exhaust pipes ventilating the 5 litre power plant. And they are not mere chrome shrouds over the tips of ugly pipes- the pipes themselves are proper seamless stainless steel tubing, not curled up sheet metal.

Click here for a large image (wallpaper size: 1024 x 768)

Another tell tale sign of an M car is the air vent just above the front wheel arches. On the M3 and M5, this vent is garnished with parallel silver strips.

Of course, there’s the obligatory M5 insignia, but anyone with a skin thick enough can paste an imitation one on their car. A set of 4 stainless steel exhaust pipes, on the other hand, is not something that falls out of the sky every now and then.. The moment you see a quartet of stainless steel pipes, it can be taken for granted that it’s an M.*

The car in question was not an M5; it failed the exhaust-pipe counting test.


While crossing a traffic intersection on Sunday, I saw a brilliantly polished black Mercedes, an S-class. For an S-class, its air dam was remarkably deep, and the wire mesh was shinier than the norm. It also had large shiny silver AMG rims with 5 pairs of parallel spokes. To top it off, a chrome badge aft of the front wheel arch proudly proclaimed “V8 kompressor”.

“That’s an S55 AMG,” I declared.

Click here for a large image

Depicted is the 2002 model. Note that the rear light clusters have 2 clear horizontal strips, while later S-classes have 4 narrow ones. S55 cars produced in 2003 and later include a supercharger, called a kompressor. Hence the "V8 kompressor" label, which is not present in this 02 model.

When the rear of the car became visible, indeed it was an S55. It had the unmistakable pair of large oval polished chrome exhaust pipes distinctive of AMG cars

Yea, I occasionally like to impress myself and maybe the friends around me by pointing out the slightly less obvious facts.

* Applies only to newer models. Older models do not have this extravagant number of exhaust pipes.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

The Fly Killer

A large fly buzzed around the room, occasionally bumping into window panes and walls with meaty, if slightly invertebrate, thumps. This was a large and loud one, a dark dot of about 1 centimetre whizzing and buzzing around the room.

He hated flies. It was not so much the gross and ick factor that made him detest the creatures. Rather, it was their annoying habit of flying aimlessly and buzzing incessantly. The fly buzzed across the room, orbiting his personal space several times and even intruding it occasionally.

He hated it when flies do that. While he remained comparatively motionless, the fly would suddenly be on his left, then his right, then above his head, all the while emitting that irritating buzz. It was annoying. His periphery vision occasionally caught a glimpse of it, sometimes here, other times there. The source of the sound whipped from the left to the right, not with the regularity of a Galilean pendulum, but with the infuriating unpredictability of a fly.

How he disliked those flies.

The fly buzzed towards the windows, and attached itself to a vertical glass pane, preening its fore legs. Direct sunlight shining through the glass illuminated the creature, highlighting the strange yellowish fur that lined its abdomen and the metallic maroon shade that tinged its compound eyes.

Unfortunately for the fly, he was not in an appreciative mood; he was ready to kill.

From a pile of used writing paper, he picked up a small stack of 80g/sm A4 paper, curled them into a swatting instrument, and approached the unfortunate invertebrate.

He held the swat about 20 centimetres away from the fly, and with a sudden unannounced thump, what was previously a fly became what remains of a fly. Observers noted that he held the swat in a position that would be similar to a single handed forehand in tennis, twisted his waist, hips and trailing foot in a fashion not unlike a boxer leaning into a punch, and also flicked his wrist to impart as much relative velocity as possible into the swat.

Victorious, he cursed venomously at the fly’s mother. With the edge of the swat, he proceeded to scrape the fly gunk from the window pane.

The fly stood no chance, none at all.


Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Vanilla Ninja; Russian mail order brides

I’m over the moon.

Having seen Vanilla Ninja’s performance at the 2005 Eurovision, and being rather impressed by them, I obtained (not purchased) their latest album, Blue Tattoo. The band members’ degree of prettiness had nothing to do with my enjoyment of the album- it was audio, not video.

[image source]

Sometime ago I decided to look for their earlier album, Traces of Sadness.

[Unnecessarily long sob story truncated.]

This afternoon, I found two torrent files, one from a German torrent site, and another from a Polish site. The download rates for both files were pathetically slow, to the order of less than 0.1 kb/s. At this pace, I’d never get the 70Mb downloaded.

It did appear that if I really wanted this album, I will have to pay money for a genuine CD to be flown into Australia. The CD itself would cost £7.96, US$27.96, £7.10 or €15.00, depending on which retailer you ask, not including the shipping of £3 to US$5.49 to £7, depending on who is mailing it. That’s the problem with Estonian bands- you can’t buy their albums from your friendly neighbourhood music retailer even if you wanted to (in these parts of the world anyway).


When I came back from (a nice Japanese) dinner, I noticed that one of the albums had finished downloading. [various exclamations] In the two hours I was away, the download rate must have experienced a delta function-like spike and finished the file. Wheehehehe...

Email me at and I’ll send you two tracks.


In searching for those torrent files, I came across a Russian site. I could not make anything out (I don't know Russian), except for a link that said "Russian mail order bride". I simply had to click on it. HAD TO.

  • Now you can send email messages to ladies even if they do not have a computer! Why wait 6-8 weeks for a response by post, when you can have a message translated into Russian and delivered to the lady in a few days.

  • We provide various services to make your contact with mail order brides most efficient. You can send flowers to the lady of your choice, get acquainted with hundreds of women during our tours, and even order a Fiancee Visa Kit for your soul mate. To start corresponding with ladies you need to register, and get either a simple or an executive search account.

  • Her response is then translated into English and sent to your own, confidential "mailbox" on´s secure Email Server.

  • Your love and romance starts here!

  • These things really do exist! So if you see me hanging out with an Eastern European girl in the future, you'll know what happened. Pfft...

    click click click

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    Formatting a computer

    Recently, I was tasked to perform some emergency restoration work on a cousin’s notebook computer- hardcore restoration, to the degree of formatting and reinstalling the operating system.

    The end result was a system that was made in the image of my own system. No I'm not a god.

  • Partition the hard disc into C and D.
  • MS Windows XP in C.
  • Change default language to English (United Kingdom).
  • Add alternate input language Chinese (PRC).
  • Relocate My Documents to d:\my documents\
  • Create folder ‘applications’ in d:\my documents\
  • Insert setup files for Adobe Photoshop, MSN Messenger, MSN Messenger ad removal patch, Mozilla Firefox, Winamp & Winrar into folder ‘applications’.
  • Remove Windows Messenger, MSN Explorer and Outlook Express from the system.
  • Install Microsoft Office XP, Nero 6 Ultra Edition, Mozilla Firefox, Adobe Photoshop, MSN Messenger, Winamp and Winrar to d:\
  • Copy a portion of my music library into the vast emptiness of the newly formatted hard disc.
  • Use an image of a few cousins as the Windows desktop background.

  • It was not a satisfactory job:

  • Due to the rush, I had to make do with an original Windows XP disc, thus it needed to be activated, but the activation code was missing. Thus the OS needs to be reinstalled after 30 days with a pirated, pre-cracked version that also allows online updates.
  • No security software was installed.

  • Sunday, November 20, 2005

    Itchy fingers; martial arts; utopia

    Seeing that the BMW Williams F1 colour scheme is doing reasonably well, I was tempted to do a more challenging team: Renault F1. Blending sky blue with intense yellow is not something that will necessarily turn out fine, hence the challenge.

    However, there is absolutely no point in doing that now, so we’ll leave that for the moment.


    I went for a karate training this morning. Quoting an email notice:
    Melbourne University Karate Club has been given the honour of hosting a training session with a visiting U.S. group of 20 IMA black belt instructors from USA. […] The visiting instructors are on a national tour led by Grandmaster Clifford Crandall. […] The team will demonstrate some of their skills in an exchange of presentations of various arts.

    Please get there early. We only have 2 hours. We want to be ready to go right on 10.

    The group in question is from the American Martial Arts Institute founded by Clifford Crandall. It is interesting in that it is tagged “martial arts”, and is not explicitly associated with any specific art. The forms/patterns/katas that they showed us included Chinese, Japanese, Korean and modern US. There were also various weapon forms, including the sai (3 pronged fork-like implements), long stick (about 30cm longer than the user’s height), short sticks, katana, truncheons and short sword.

    The diversity was amazing, and coupled with the fact that they did 6 different demonstrations simultaneously due to time constraints, it was all the more mind boggling. It appears that everyone knows every form, although they specialise in particular ones.

    Familiar patterns of Koryo, Kuemgang and Taebaek were included in the itinerary, but there was no point observing something I already know like the back of my hand. It’s much more beneficial to watch the new and foreign ones.

    We then split into different groups, depending on personal inclinations. I went with the long stick form. There were only 2 weapons but 3 learners, so I made do with imagining a stick in my hands. Not satisfactory, but things happens. One of the guys in the group was holding the weapon in a slightly different fashion, and the instructor pointed it out. He told her “I’ve had 17 years with [mumble] sword, it’s hard to change”.

    Throughout the session he proved to be the difficult one. What a bastard. If you are not open minded enough to even grip the stick in a different manner, why don’t you just give me the stick and you can holding an imaginary stick/sword whichever way you fancy. Waste of a good stick and precious time (we are talking about sessions of only 10 minutes, so was absolutely imperative to assimilate as much as possible, as efficiently as possible).

    The head of the AMAI, GM Crandall, was annoyingly self centred, unfortunately. And he has the ability to talk too much, about not much, but mostly about himself. Ya lah, you very papai lah. But frankly, I would rather we split up to train with your group of senior instructors and pick up more tricks. He managed to spend something like 30 to 45 minutes talking. But he is a brilliant martial artist. Duh, he’s the head of AMAI.


    I’ve been a bit sloppy with my writing lately. Too many short unimaginative sentences, like this. I better watch it.


    Early this morning while having breakfast, I noted this from the Star, citing an article from the Sinchew Daily.
    Sin Chew Daily reported that a group of people had set up a “lazy-man village” in a rural area in Guang Zhou where they could enjoy a relaxed lifestyle every day.

    The group comprised those who did not want to face competition in work; had no interest in earning more money; and did not want to be hardworking.

    The village, which now has nine families, came out with a set of rules on working together to farm and to rear livestock for food.

    It appears to be a shot at utopia. Often, attempts in creating a society where everyone is happy result in quite the opposite when those in power fucks the backsides of everyone else. Think Animal Farm (George Orwell, 1945). Despite the bleak outlook, we wish the lazy-man village and its inhabitants all the best.

    Thursday, November 17, 2005

    BMW Williams F1 team inspired template

    Do the colours look familiar?

    My brother modified his template recently, with a black/orange theme reminiscent of the eye catching but now defunct Orange Arrows F1 team.

    Then Yvy mentioned that she would change her template earlier today. “How about this, you change scenery I change backdrop?” I asked her. She did change her template, so here I am.

    [paragraph edited 6pm 18 Nov 05]
    The header sucks. Pink will probably be back in a week or two unless I can cure the horrid splatter of colours. The header no longer sucks. Just threw out the complicated agglomeration of blue rectangles and now it's clean.

    PS- the launch car looks impotent. They should have dailed in some (visible) negative camber into the front tyres to make it look more honest.

    [edited 6pm 18 Nov 05]
    PPS- This page was designed using Firefox. It looks a little retarded in IE. I don't care, "I'm going to snub IE."


    Tuesday, November 15, 2005


    This morning’s Advanced Computational Mechanics examination was surprisingly simple. There were many questions along the lines of “show that k* = sin (klΔ)/Δ” which made life very easy.

    Once you arrive at the correct answer, you can simply end it with a grand QED. The task of proofreading the answers is remarkably simple, since the correct answer is already supplied, and you just have to get there. It is highly improbable, although not exactly impossible, for conjugated pairs of errors to crop up in the workings and then happily cancel out each other so that the final solution happens to be the right one.


    I very nearly got a high from writing QED.

    If I hadn’t so royally messed up the assignments, a First Class Honours grade for this subject would have been in the bag. But seeing that it is not the case, we’ll see what happens.


    QED is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase "quod erat demonstrandum" ("that which was to be demonstrated"), a notation which is often placed at the end of a mathematical proof to indicate its completion. [source: Mathworld]

    QED is also an abbreviation for quantum electrodynamics. The book “QED: The strange theory of light and matter” by the late Richard P Feynman is an extremely insightful book derived from a series of public lectures aimed at the general public. “QED: the strange theory of light and matter” is available in both the Rowden White Library and the Baillieu Library at The University of Melbourne.


    Saturday, November 12, 2005

    miscellaneous stuff

    436-436 Advanced Computational Mechanics
    Tuesday 15 November 9.30 am, 180 minutes

    325-206 Human Resources Management
    Wednesday 16 November 2.15pm, 120 minutes

    436-414 Optimisation
    Friday 25 November 9.30am, 180 minutes

    I’ve got this song stuck in my head now. It’s Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music, which is probably a better song to be stuck than say, The Lemon Tree, We’re In Trouble or The Ketchup Song.

    I found this file sharing service online that’s free of charge. So here’s a folder of 7 music files if you’re so inclined. It contains English, German, French, Chinese and Russian songs.
    Julie Andrews et. al. - Do-Re-Mi (English musical)
    Vanilla Ninja - I Don’t Care At All (Estonian band, in English)
    Blümchen - Herz an Herz (German techno-pop)
    Isabelle Boulay - Et Maintenant (French-Canadian, in French)
    Ortal - Chacun Pense A Soi (French)
    Soviet Red Army Choir - Battle Hymn of the Republic (Russian)
    Teresa Teng - 月亮代表我的心 (Mandarin)

    Download folder here (32 MB)
    From the bottom of the table, click on the free service. Then scroll down to the bottom of the next page and wait for the 30 second timer to count down to zero. Click on the filename and save it to your local disc.


    This link on wikipedia made me go “Mein Gott.” Can you imagine this kind of stuff turning up in your Encyclopaedia Britannica?


    Wednesday, November 09, 2005


    Tan Yee Wei is away panicking for his examinations.

    There are three exams:
    Human Resources Management (he sucks at this)
    Advanced Computational Mechanics (he sucks at this too, but at least he likes the material)

    Ironically, he does not yet know the exact dates of his papers.

    The derivative of the natural logarithm

    Over the past few days, I’ve been puzzling over the derivative of the (natural) log. Why is it 1/x? I could not find a reasonable way to obtain the derivative from first principles.

    I gave up, and decided to call upon the power of Google. Here’s how it is done:

    Define the (natural) logarithm, and inverse the function to express the variables in an exponential relation.

    Implicitly differentiate both sides of the exponential function.
    Replace the exponential with x, since they are equivalent (from the second equation).
    Rearrange to obtain the rate of change of y with respect to x.

    It is so absurdly simple I now have a new problem on my hands- why have I not seen this before?

    In summary:

    The Derivative of the Natural Logarithm, Math 116, Lake Tahoe Community College Math Department


    Tuesday, November 08, 2005

    The convergence and divergence of a series

    The family of series in consideration today is of the following form:

    For s = 1, the series is the harmonic series, which is a (slowly) divergent series.

    For s = 2, it is the Basel Problem, named after the Swiss city where Jakob Bernoulli published the problem. Interestingly enough, the Basel problem was originally raised by Professor Pietro Mengoli at the University of Bologna. Regardless, it is referred to as the Basel Problem and not as the “Bologna Problem”. In particular, the Basel Problem is a convergent series, but to exactly what number it converges to, no one knew. 46 years after it was raised, Leonhard Euler found the closed form to the Basel Problem, as well as an algorithm for the closed form for all even numbers of s. Up to now, there is no known closed form for odd numbers of s.

    In his investigations of prime numbers, Bernhard Riemann used the above family of series, and called it the Zeta function in his 1859 paper.

    The convergence or divergence of the Zeta function can be easily proven using the power of calculus. In particular, the series for a particular s can be compared to the integral of a suitably chosen function.

    Consider the Basel Problem. To show that it is a convergent series, the elements of the series are compared to a continuous function f(x).

    The comparison itself will consider the area bounded by the series, and area bounded by the function f. The area of the function f is simply its integral, while the area of the series is the sum of rectangles of width 1, and of the same height as the series elements.

    To show that the series in the Basel Problem is convergent, we first show that f(x) is convergent, then fit the series to be always under the function f(x), such that the series is always less than or equal to the function f(x). Thus if f(x) converges, the series converges.

    Firstly, show that the integral of f(x) to infinity converges.

    Then, fit the series below the function f(x) such that it is always less than or equal to f(x).
    Integrate from 1 to ∞, and the integral turns out to be one, a finite number.

    Note that the integration was not taken from 0 to ∞ because f(x) is singular at 0, and we already know that the first term of the series is one, a finite value.

    The sum of all terms after the first is strictly less than the integral of f(x), since the series is always less than or equal to f(x). The integral to infinity is one, and the first term is one. The series should converge to a number less than 1 + 1 = 2. As Euler discovered, it converges to 1.64493…

    click here for larger image

    Similarly, to show that the Zeta of s = 0.5 is divergent, all that needs to be done is to compare it to a suitably chosen function g(x), and show that the integral of g(x) to infinity is divergent. Fit the series so that it is always greater than or equal to g(x), so that if the integral of g(x) diverges, the series diverges.

    click here for larger image

    The problem is of determining the convergence of the series simply becomes an exercise in integration. For what values of s does the series converge?

    Define a general function to represent the continuous function:

    Integrating the h(x) from a finite value to infinity, at what values of s does the integral diverge?

    The inverted A symbol represents "for all"
    The rounded E symbol represents "is an element of"
    The symbol R represents the field of all real numbers

    To determine convergence or divergence, the most important criteria is the power of b (which is the variable that approaches infinity). If b is raised to a positive power, and then inversed, the value approaches zero and all is well. However, if b is raised to a negative power and inversed, the value approaches infinity and the series diverges.

    Now we know that the series diverges for all s less than one, and converges for all s greater than one. And for s exactly equal to one, the harmonic series:

    The harmonic series (and the natural logarithm) diverges so amazingly slowly that this phenomenon itself deserves an article.

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    Sunday, November 06, 2005

    German Sex Education

    Before we proceed further into the rich and rewarding field of German sex education, it is perhaps useful to properly define the field name itself, German sex education.

    Using the parenthesis as commonly applied in mathematics, I would like to point out that we are in fact dealing with German (sex education). This particular bit of sex education is designed for the German market.

    We are not dealing with (German sex) education where students are taught the intricacies of German sex, as opposed to Japanese sex or Brazilian sex.

    Ob!ique LL.B (Hons), MSc. recently sent me an email of scanned images from a German sex education book. I transcribed the text and put them into a language translator and German-English dictionary.

    The baby being born (page 6) is a must see. Do click on the images for the full sized pictures (loads in a new window/ tab).
    “Don't you think the image of the baby coming out is freaky already?? Anyway, knock yourselves out! lol.” - Ob!ique LL.B (Hons), MSc.

    The translation is imperfect. Crossed out text indicate errors.

    If anyone knows German, please help with the translation. Thank you.
    Wenn jedermann deutsch spricht, helfen Sie bitte bei der Übersetzung. Danke.

    Click on image for full sized scan in new window/ tab, ~ 100kB

    Here you see a Baby. Do you know, how it came into the World?

    Here you see Father and Mother. They got the Baby with one another.

    Click on image for full sized scan in new window/ tab, ~ 100kB

    Here Father and Mother do not wear dresses. You can see Mother’s chest and Mother’s Slot. One calls the Slot ‘Sheath’.

    You can see Father’s Penis. One calls Penis ‘Member’. You can also see bag flax Father has between its Legs, it are called ‘Scrotum’.

    Mother and Father love themselves very much. They are kissing each other. Father’s Member became large. It stands rigidly out.

    Mother and Father liked gladly that Father’s Member comes into Mother’s Sheath. That is to say already is.

    Click on image for full sized scan in new window/ tab, ~ 100kB

    Mother and Father put on the Bed, and bring the Member into the Sheath. So they can play with one another. Father and Mother swing on and off with one another.

    That calls one ‘intercourse’. That can be completely mad. So Mother and Father can get a Child, if they want it.

    Mother and Father love themselves very much. They might have had gladly a Child. In Sack of the Father are many small Sperm-cells. If Father and Mother sleep, coming the Sperm-cells from the Member.

    The Sperm-cells swim in Mother’s Sheath in and come into hollow into Mother’s Belly. This hollow heist bearing Mother. In there a tiny egg is occasionally.

    Click on image for full sized scan in new window/ tab, ~ 100kB

    Offense many, many meet. Nine Months are passed, since then the Sperm-cell and the egg each other found. Now the Child is so large that it wants out.

    Mother’s Belly is as largely become that you fit nearly no more dress. “I can keep in track, as the bearing Mother pulls together,” says the Mother to the Father.

    “…Now it is soon so far that I bring our child to the world.”

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    Father drives Mother into the Hospital.

    Mother puts in the Hospital to bed. Then a Physician comes and speaks with Mother and Father. The Physician will help Mother with the birth of the Child.

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    Then Mother begins to bore. Only the head of the Child comes from Mother separates out.

    Then come out the rest of the Child.

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    Now the Child came out completely from the Mother. The Physician cut the Navel-cord off. Also the Placenta came out. Now the Child is born.

    Mother and Child rest themselves some days. Then they come again home. If the Child has hunger, it drinks Milk out of Mother’s Breast.

    Glossary of useful terms:
    Schlitz - slot
    Schwanz - penis
    Glied - member
    Hodensack - scrotum
    beischlafen - intercourse
    Samemzellen - sperm cells