Fine. 25 16 things.

1. I enjoy cooking, although my repertoire is a bit limited. I also like cooking for people now and again. 
   
2. When I was young, I had many problems with my urinary tract/kidneys/bladder. My mother says there was an overnight bag always ready when we needed to go to University Hospital. And we went to the hospital a lot – sometimes a few times in a week. When it was all finally resolved some years later, the bill for the years of antibiotics and medication amounted to something like RM 100. The wonders of government healthcare. But don’t ask me, I have absolutely no recollection.
   
3. In 2003 to 2005, I was mostly fascinated with writing and the art of sentence crafting. When I look back at my stuff, I’m still amazed used to be able to write such things. This, for example.
   
4. In 2004 to 2007, I immersed myself in mathematics and physics. I’d go to the university’s mathematics and physics libraries to oogle at the hot geek chicks and get books that sometimes become too in-depth for me after 20 pages. The maths did me much good.
   
5. From 2007 to the present, I have been fixated with finance. The first hook was financial derivatives by virtue of its non-linear valuation and tricky mathematics. The second was foreign exchange, because I was working with two currencies. My accounts are now in three currencies.
   
6. I have one flat foot.
   
7. I have a huge number of accounts: cash in China, cash in Malaysia, cash in Australia, savings in China, savings in Malaysia, savings in Australia, parents’ payables/receivables, Jean’s payables/receivables, May’s payables/receivables and a consolidated position. But only 3 bank accounts. 
   
8. When I was setting up my recording system I had considered MYOB, but the student version I could get hold of can only handle one currency. SAP and Oracle are powerful but not (easily) available as pirated/cracked software. So I did it all on MS Excel with a huge number of worksheets, linked data, exchange rates and automatic functions. I’m sure my improvised and half-baked accounting would not meet the requirements of the IASB. But I can chart any number of variables against time, such as bank account balance, net position, exchange rates…
   
9. Oh and I don’t have much money, just a bit of money scattered here and there. So many accounts and so little money bleah.
   
10. I started doing taekwondo in 1998, and had to stop in 2003 because of a weak foot/ankle. I then moved to karate for about 2 years until I was no longer welcome at the university (non-students/ staff pay a premium for facilities), I went boxing at the gym. With a well developed idea of how to transfer momentum, I was able to match the impact of much larger and faster people.
11. I was never able to execute a proper jumping reverse swing until this year.
12. The first (and only) time I got drunk was in 2003 when my friends came over for my farewell shortly before flying to Melbourne. I got conned into drinking a small cup of wine with each of them. And I later realised they were drinking Coca Cola while I was fed all the wine. Tossers.
13. I like taking walks. This started as a necessity to save on tram tickets, but I quickly realised my mind relaxes easily with the monotonous plodding of footsteps.
    
14. I like sunsets. The kind where the sun remains visible till it disappears down the horizon, not the kind where the sun fades away before it actually sets.
    
15. I rarely see sunrises. The times I do see it is usually when I have not slept the night before.
    
16. I’m very fussy when it comes to lighting. Having a lone light fixture in the middle of the room does not cut it – this is usually terrible for a desk placed along the wall as my head will cast a shadow on whatever I’m  trying to read. I’ll set up a small bright light and direct it against the wall to illuminate the desk space with diffuse light.

It's decided - we are going to Hong Kong! *excited*

Oh look, a meme!

Seeing that I have not done stupid things in a while, I might as well fulfil my monthly quota (the smoke incident was not stupid; it was tragic). Here is a meme pinched from ze godsister:



Do you consider yourself weird or crazy?
Weird.

Who do you think the teddy bear was named after?
A long time ago I read in a general knowledge books for young children that it was Theodore Roosevelt. There’s a story behind it, something about a bear.

Do you like mint?
Generally ok.
However, I have seen mint things that most people cannot imagine (no, I’m sure you can easily imagine a mint flavoured condom). In this instance, it was a mint flavoured pau (the white steamed buns typically filled with char siew, red bean or kaya). The sweet, warm, menthol-laden and cooling paste came as quite a shock, seeing I was not expecting mint in my pau.

Are you sexually confused?
Despite being accused of that now and then, I am not sexually confused. When I was working at the restaurant, I had the extreme misfortune of having a gay man ask me if I can be dessert. Horrors. If it was a woman I could have at least flirted back or something.

Are you claustrophobic?
Only when I’m feeling restless on long flights when I am already tired, unwell and then stuffed into a non-aisle seat.

Are you afraid of heights?
No.

Do you think you sing well?
No, and I’m certain of it. I feel exceedingly out of place in karaoke sessions – the fact that I don’t really pay attention to songs make me not know a whole lot of them.
Do you know this song? No. What about this, surely you’ve heard it before? Er.. no. Ok, this one then? No.
Ultimately it frustrates the shit out of whoever who’s trying to be helpful, and I end up paying to watch people sing.

Do you like anyone?
Yah I like Jean!! <3

Do you think branded things are over-rated?
Sometimes, it’s comforting to know that the plane you are travelling in is an Airbus instead of a Fokker.
Also, the difference between a BMW and a Proton shouldn’t be neglected.

Do you think you're likely to get dementia at old age?
Does not seem likely, if my grandparents are any indication.

Do you cross dress?
Yes. I have a rather splendid collection of blouses, pleated skirts, evening gowns, knickers, A-cup bras, a few nylon stockings (these used to be really rare during the 2nd World War because parachutes were supposedly more important than stockings) and patent leather heels.
However, I have some rather masculine clothing so I’m not totally whacked. I’m particularly fond of my collection of studded leather underwear.

Are you into magazines?
I used to be, when I had to take a 45-minute train ride to that silly institution masquerading as a school. Back then we had a shit load of magazine subscriptions at home – National Geographic, Far Eastern Economic Review, Reader’s Digest, Time, Asiaweek, Discover, Scientific America, The Planetary Review.
The fees must have amounted to a bomb, but those 2 years of reading gave me so much knowledge that in hind sight, that silly institution might have been good for me after all (only because it forced me into sitting in a train for 1.5 hours a day).

Do you read a lot?
I used to. When I had access to the university’s library I would dig up books from the medicine, mathematics, physics and economics library for kicks.
Now I just work, study and waste time.

Are you an atheist?
No, I’m somewhere between a Buddhist, Taoist and agnostic.

Are you hard headed?
No, in fact my skull is so soft you could press it with the back of the spoon and it’d yield, allowing you to manipulate (or even scoop out) the contents. Inside, you’d mostly find air and differential equations.

Are you into movies?
No.

Do you like the TV?
I used to dislike it. Now I just don’t give it a damn.

Do you like the computer?
It’s my only way to connect with the world. No TV, no movies, no newspapers…

Are you fond of cosplaying?
Only if the hot girls wear teasingly short skirts with tight blouses. And if the guys stay out of sight.
But really, that situation need not be restricted to cosplay alone.
And I cannot relate to cosplay, so I will simply say I am not fond of cosplay.

Do you hate rap?
I just hate listening to it.

Do you wear polka-dotted undies?
Oh yea! Forgot to mention my polka-dotted undies earlier. A matching set of panties and bra.

Are you interested in politics?
Not really.

Are you a man of many words or are you a man of a few words?
Few words. Very few words.

Are you good at small talk?
As suggested above, no. I’m terrible at small talk.

Will you grow up to be a fine man?
I’m already grown up, a man. Cannot attest to my fineness.

How do you feel after completing this dumbass survey?
Like the dumbass I am. I just wasted a bunch of time that could have been used for studying. And the exam is next Sunday.
Dumbass indeed.

Screw titles, I don't do titles

Skyline

Click here for large size image

Today, the old warrior and myself inadvertently made a pair of disclosures that were so ironic that they “felt like a counter-backthrust.” The situation is so unique that to mention the nature of the irony here would point towards the source of interest as surely as an iron(ic) compass needle towards Magnetic North.

What happens when you have a set of three entangled differential equations? Just like the three-body problem in celestial mechanics- chaos.

Perhaps when all of us are no longer chaotically entangled, we will still be sane enough to look back at this day and laugh our asses off over glasses of teh-o-ais limau. I will buy the both of you teh-o-ais limau; mark my words.





Eureka Tower
Melbourne's greatest erection and tallest building


***

So Chan Yu Mei has dropped a little parcel bomb my way, which is probably a good thing because this page has been so devoid of words it’s starting to look like I’m illiterate.

5 things found in your bag:

- it sometimes holds my lunch and a pair of fork and spoon
- it frequently holds my gym clothes
- when I was still waiting table, it held my working shirt and black shoes
- now and then, when I don’t need the camera bag, it carries my optical instruments.
- a long time ago it held my sparring gloves


5 things found in your purse/wallet:

- HK$ 100.00
- AU$ 54.35
- RMB 11.50
- RM 5.00
- US$ 1.00


5 favourite things in your room (my room does not hold much so I’ll look at the house):

- the vegetable knife
- the meat knife
- the silicon-carbide sharpening blocks
- the chopping board
- the 320 Gb external hard disc drive


b5 things you're currently into:

- pseudo-boxing
- optics and photography
- the knife arts
- getting into a semi-trance like mental state
- coffee. definitely coffee

Click here for large size image

There goes the weekend, pranced past in the multi-coloured blur of a magnificently huge dim sum brunch, cleaning and rearranging the house, endurance racing on GT3, time wasted waiting for late trams and idle time-wasting in general.


***

Tan Yee Wei asked me what I'm obsessed with:

Knives
Optical instruments
GT3, for now

I’m not tagging anyone.


Perhaps we should fleetingly introduce this confusing character who has the same name as me, the one who said, “Gah... my email's [address removed]. Now I know who took the other tanyeewei.” She’s female; I’m not.

[truncated]
I’ll come over and marry you tomorrow
Haha
...
Nono, can’t do that
There’d be problems with the name
Yup
It will drive the guests mad
Haha
The bride and groom's sides will sit haphazardly
I think it will drive us nuts too

The scope for daft jokes is quite vast.


***

On optical instruments, I received my recently ordered lenses, a Super Takumar 135mm f3.5 and a Jupiter-9 85mm f2.0.

And there they are, the 85mm Soviet copy of the German Carl-Zeiss Sonnar, and the Japanese Super-Takumar 135mm. Note the minimum focal distances of 0.7 m and 1.5 m are closer than what most zoom lenses can give.

The Super-Takumar has six aperture blades (resulting in the hexagonal aperture when partially closed) while the Jupiter-9 has...

Ah yes, the Jupiter-9 has 16 aperture blades, resulting in a hexadecagon aperture. By the way, you will need your fingers and toes to count the aperture blades. Unless you are a male with three 5-fingered hands...


***

The first two minutes of the GT3 intro scene is superb. With various views into an operational engine block, it’s sure to get any petrol head’s blood running. I especially love the scene with the invisible engine block, pumping pistons, combusting fuel mixture and running cam shafts- it nearly always brings tears to my eyes, and I can watch it over and over again.

Tagged

Within the great zeppelin, its main dining hall was quiet. The lunch rush was over, and those still sitting around were simply enjoying the scenery or talking in muted tones. From high above, a gentle throbbing of propellers reminded travellers that they were not motionless, despite the apparently static columns of clouds outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

At an isolated end of the starboard flor-to-ceilingwindow, a figure hunched over the glass engrossed with the view through his camera. Nearer the centre isle, a long-haired lady tapped on her computer, words flowing from her fingertips to her blog.

Finished with his imaging, the photographer packed his optical instruments and headed towards his cabin. As he walked past the blogger, he drew to an abrupt stop. She looked up at him, their eyes locked for a femto-second.

“OMG, is it really you Obs?” he exclaimed in delight.
“Yee Wei! This is the last place I would imagine meeting you,” she replied, surprised to see a familiar face, “And hush, I’m now known as Politikus.”
“Politikus? Nice. And I call myself Lao Chen for partial anonymity. So, you are on holiday or something?”
“I’m going to the Muse concert!”

He sat down; she pushed the computer aside. It had been years since they last met.



The hours pass, and it was time to attend to other matters. She had yet to complete her post and he had photos to edit.

“I’ll see you at dinner, then,” Lao Chen bade his farewell.
“Wait, I’ve got something interesting here for you,” she stopped him, her hand fumbling about in interior of a large bag.

“Here, take this.”

***

List six weird facts about yourself and then tag another six to do the same. Let them know in their blogs as well as after completing the meme.


1. At work, I mostly make notes and jottings using red pens. Reds give a bit more bang over dull blue or insignificant black.

2. I have far too many red t-shirts.

3. I recently did a load of dark coloured clothes, and it turns out that the pile consisted of 3 black trousers, 4 red t-shirts, a black t-shirt and some black socks.

4. To further coordinate the colours of my laundry, I put in some light coloured items- two pink coloured t-shirts.

5. When I hung them up, they looked rather cute. So I took a few photographs of the absurdity.

6.


The last six people who commented on this blog will be burdened with this little meme:
Albert Ng
Sabrina
Jean
Tan Yee Wei (this is not me; SHE has the exact same name as mine)
Tan Yee Hou
Ah Pek

This is going to be one of those long entries. It will cover four main areas:

Kaya and butter toast
A meme from Politikus
A pointless composition
A brief notice on Saturday's puzzle

Kaya and butter toast

Speak of the devil!

After a light lunch of pork and century egg porridge, the entrée chef brought out two triangles of toasted sandwiches. Between the slightly browned bread slices was a rich, yellow solid, a huge chunk about 5 mm thick. That is a lot of cheese. I like cheese.

I gave it a second look. The cheese looked suspicious.

“Is this cheese, or butter?” I asked.
“Shouldn’t be butter kua…” Shawna remarked.
“Stop asking and just eat it; you’ll know when you eat it,” the entrée chef pointed at the triangles with an exasperated look.

I wasn’t about to be a pansy and risk a wussy nibble; I took a bite. And 5 mm worth of butter was in my mouth. It was frightful. There was a tinge of kaya too. I like kaya.

It turns out that Shawna had taken an exploratory bite too, and there was a simultaneous eruption of horrified looks and various muffled phrases that effectively meant “OMG you actually used so much (hand signal- index finger and thumb opened to show an exaggerated gap of 30 mm) butter!”

I like kaya and butter toast, but 1 mm of kaya with 5 mm of butter is just preposterous. The chef had even defended himself with, “if it’s to sell we will give a smaller slice, but for ourselves, we can cut a larger piece.”





This is a later incarnation, severely toned down from the earlier 5 mm version.


***

A meme from Politikus

RULES:

1. If you read it, you’re tagged.
2. Post the Rules when you complete the meme.
3. Complete the five sentences below.
4. When you post the answers, leave five new sentences to be completed by your readers.


These are sentences from Politikus:
1. I have a pet monkey, he’d be called Vanker.
2. “You are so beautiful to me” is what you get when you search “you are so” on Google. Which is true, if suitably chosen pairs of “you” and “me” are used.
3. The world we live in is filled with bifurcations. And a few tossers.
4. One, two, three, four …erm, I lost count.
5. Crap! I saw hair growing out of a bee. Really.



Click here for large size image


And for anyone who bothers, complete the following sentences:
1. Ten years from now, this …
2. The oldest text message on my phone says…
3. The dentist said …
4. Two days ago, I would never imagine …
5. Tomatoes and herbs …


***

A pointless composition

The kitchen was quiet. The setting sun’s yellow rays, its intensity dulled by cloud cover, slides in from the western window, drawing elongated oblique shadows on the walls.

A light continuous breeze flutters through the open window, a blind hanging across the window sways lazily in the wind. Every few seconds, it knocks on the glass pane with a tiny “thunk”.

Over the sink, the tap’s valve was not tightened properly. An imperceptibly tiny stream of water seeps through the gaps in the valve, accumulating as a droplet at the end of the faucet. Beyond a critical droplet size, the water’s weight exceeds its surface tension force, and the droplet falls. It hits the metal sink with a dull plink.

I spoon my ginger, fish and century egg porridge slowly. Shadows from the sunlight become more acutely inclined, and the light starts appearing red shifted. The periodic tapping of the blind continues, as does the calming slow drip of water.

Cash registers, blouses for under $30, coffee shops and ice cream parlours, Price Waterhouse Coopers, SLRs, supernovas and black holes, nihilism, double-clutch heel-and-toe, greenhouse gases…they all do not exist here.

It would be nice to sit a while longer, but I had to work.

Occasionally, a faraway car’s gentle purr stirs through the windows. I finish my porridge and wash up.


The clock says 5.45pm.
“I’d better get going.”

10 minutes later, I was back amidst the cash register, bar and delivery orders.


***

A brief notice on Saturday's puzzle

And since there appears to be some mental activity on Saturday’s puzzle, I’ll postpone publishing the results for another 24 hours. If you don’t see the pattern by then, it will be too late.



Photographs

Interesting reads

Tagged

"下一站，油麻地。Next station, Yau Ma Tei." An automated, bilingual female voice of neutral accent announced over the train's speakers. The train drew to a stop and a multitude of double doors along its length slid open. Ignoring the masses of students and proletariats, Lao Chen found his way towards Exit C as instructed.

The MTR was an impressive set up. Not only is its rail network extremely vast, but the stations themselves have numerous tendrils reaching out to the surface at various locations. Exits A1, A2, B1, B2, C and D are all very different places.

The directions given to him were clear. From Exit C at Ming Man Lane, he arrived at the tiny desert shop with plenty of time to spare. Like all establishments in Hong Kong, this shop manages to pack plenty into a minuscule floor area.

He sat down at an empty table. A lady came to take his order. "In a while; I’m waiting for someone," he told her. She went away with a nod.

Customers drifted in and out of the shop. Money and various bowls of tong sui changed hands. Construction workers, corporate types, middle school students, tourists came and went. Most of them came alone; they shared tables with others yet kept to themselves. Portable music players and mobile phones cocooned them in their own universes.


"Hello!" a cheerful voice from behind him jolted Lao Chen back to alertness. It was plink.
"Take a seat," Lao Chen pulled a stool for her.

The lady came by to again to take their orders. They ordered a mango sai mai loh each.

"So, what brings you here to Hong Kong?" Lao Chen asked.
"Personal matters. And I have something for you too."
"Must be another meme. Every time we meet it's another meme."
She laughed.


***

Reveal six random things about yourself. Then tag six others with this meme.

1. Not only can I crack the knuckles on my fingers, I can also pop the joints in my neck, lower spine (lumbar area), left knee, 10 toes' first digit joint, 2 thumbs’ first digit joints, 8 fingers' first and second digit joints, both wrists and left ankle.

2. I scoff at pop culture and mass-produced entertainment partly because it's fun. Also because I don't enjoy many of them, but that's not the point.

3. I don't remember ages (myself and others'); I remember birth-years. I then run through a subtraction algorithm to deduce the age.

4. I am approaching 23 (after some calculations).

5. Occasionally, I can be spied at Gloria Jeans’s sipping a cup of coffee. Because they have that buy-10-get-1-free card. I buy normal coffees, but use the free one on their most expensive drinks. Naturally.

6. I say weird things, but I don't really like people telling me that I'm 'random'. Random implies aimless noise, I prefer 'eccentric'.


The victims:
Shyan Yih, Yuan Harng, Wuching, Yvy, Yee Hou, Jolene.


***

"Let me buy you today's mango loh," Lao Chen offered as they hailed for the bill.
"Thanks, my turn next time. It's Malaysia's National Day tomorrow hor."
"Oh yah. Another bowl, then?"
"Ok!"


Interesting reads

This came from ob!ique-

A challenge to my readers, if you comment on this post:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog.

To answer her question (part 7):
I don’t think amazing is the right word, but they came from a tiny bit of mathematical analysis and extensive trail and error.


***

I’ve not been writing much these days; I have been preoccupied with:

Work
I’m still a part-time waiter. The hours are not bad, but the money can be better. At least I don’t get many wankers in the restaurant.


Mathematics
I went ahead with my decision to buy Penrose’s ‘Road to Reality: A complete guide to the laws of the universe’. I was getting stuck with contour integrals, unable to proceed satisfactorily for about 2 days. Then an old hand at contour integrals came online on MSN (after an absence for about 8 months) and cleared things up nicely.

But perhaps I am just being stupid- that question is clearly marked "in my undergraduate days, we used to have to proof things like […]. Do this if you have the necessary skills." I have only just grazed the surface of contour integrals, so it was a long shot. I still have not solved that problem.

I guess I should move on to the next chapter (Riemann Surfaces) instead.


Taking photographs
No elaboration needed.


Job applications
It’s starting to get worrying. Anyone needs to buy/ hire/ rent/ lease a mechanical engineer/ writer/ analyst?


Chinese language skills
I’m still learning, although not as intensely as when I started. I recently got hold of a magazine from China. The content is a lot like Reader’s Digest- a bit girly and slightly trivial but with good vocabulary development opportunities.



Interesting reads

You know what would be fun? To go lepak somewhere bright and moderately sunny with the cousins and the aunts.

Armed with a simple Nikon FM2, a 50mm prime lens and several reels of ISO 100 film. Nothing complicated: no zoom, no white balance, no motors, and no batteries even.



The women cluster around, chattering cheerfully, an occasional upwelling of laughter erupting forth.

With a click of the shutter speed knob and a minor twist of the aperture control ring around the lens, the exposure is set, an operation that feels so natural that one wonders if it was something greater than engineers that designed the FM2.

The men huddle in a group discussing the latest developments in social-political-economics scene, and sometimes, football.

The camera’s shutter release is a purely functional protrusion with a hole in the middle to attach the cable release, not a curved shiny button engineered by the aesthetics department. Depress the silky smooth mechanism, and the spring loaded shutter pings open and close- a strange twanging sound of a discharging spring rarely heard in the world of digital cameras.

The young ones scatter around, the boys running around and the girls not being entirely girly too.

Pulling on the film advance lever is feels like cocking a gun. Through the aluminium lever, one feels the frame of film being pulled out of the projection screen as an unexposed frame takes its place. The action of pulling on the lever winds up the spring that drives the shutter mechanism, the stroke ending with a click as the final ratchet engages and the lever is free to snap back to its original position.


***

A week ago, there was this questionnaire with the theme of Four floating around. Here is an excerpt:

Four jobs I would stink at:

Cosmetics salesperson
Bikini waxer
Upper secondary mathematics teacher (I’m sure I’d step way out of the curriculum and mess everyone’s impressionable brains up)
Pianist at the London Philharmonic Orchestra

Four pretend nicknames I’m making up for myself:

The Dodgy Calligrapher
Double Clutch Wei
Fluffy the Dragon
Rosebud *cringe*

Four movies I have watched over and over:

Not really over and over, but these are the closest
Hero
Spirited Away
I Am Curious
Titanic (joking; I can’t think of any other)

Four alcoholic beverages I’ve enjoyed on offshore vacations:

The only alcoholic drink I like is coffee with a bit of Baileys Irish Cream

Four places I would rather be right now:

Home
Anywhere with the cousins
Anywhere with the Malats
Europe, with a lot of sufficient money

Interesting reads

The narcissistic Q&A meme

Yvy dumped this on me. Meme etiquette demands that I answer the questions, although it is not an explicit requirement to propagate it.

I AM: Learning the 7th Dan Taekwondo pattern.
I JUST NOW: Ate dinner at 11.30pm.
I SAID: I ate dinner at 11.30pm!
I WANT: To be properly multilingual. Ok, bi.
I WISH: To have a teleconverter and a wideangle converter.
I HATE: Not many things at all.
I MISS: My family, the bunch of cousins and the Malats.
I FEAR: Uncertainty.
I WONDER: If the universe is laughing at me.
I HEAR: Someone shouting, “Of course not! As if It can even be bothered with you.”
I REGRET: Not many things either.
I AM NOT: Bisexual. I had meant bilingual. BILINGUAL! (refer above)
I SING: Very, very rarely. The last time was with SY, TC and Shannon at The Curve, July 2004.
I CRY: Very rarely as well.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: As fast a number cruncher as I would like to be.
I MADE: Muffins this afternoon! Joking; I went for Karate this afternoon.
I WRITE: Crap most of the time.
I CONFUSE: the spelling of uncertainty quite frequently (I usually add a superfluous i)
I NEED: to improve my vocabulary.
I SHOULD: Start reading more, then.
I START: My ‘day’ at noon.
I FINISH: My ‘day’ at 5am.
I TAG : Shyan, since he had just established his very own page. Go, go do it.

Lin Dynasty - chapter 27

This is a big project circulating around these days. It’s a colossal meme that requires each participant to write one chapter and append it to an existing storyline.

The full table of contents can be found here.

The previous few chapters:
Chapter 23 by Yvy
Chapter 24 by Luxferi
Chapter 25 by Robin
Chapter 26 by Cynical Idealist

In the previous chapter (26):

Luke Charmaine bent down, and gently helped Puki Galore up. She was bound by magic to protect the girl now.

Slowly but surely, both girls headed off into the sunrise, with Luke Charmaine supporting Puki all the way. They were going to pay a special someone a visit...someone who had the powers to restore Puki's waking state...

And that someone was none other than the ronin creature of darkness, the one who sought to turn to the light and leave this accursed land forever to take his place amongst the heroes of light - Yee Wei the Shutterbug!

Warning: contains one mildly disturbing paragraph. It's the one immediately after the image.

Chapter 27
By Tan Yee Wei

At his home, Yee Wei was preparing to sleep. A metallic clanging caught his attention- someone was at the door.

“Idiots! The sun is already up, for goodness sake. Don’t you people have to sleep? I, for one, have to sleep soon,” he grumbled crossly to himself as he marched to the heavy wooden door.


***

“I know this sounds like a horrible science fiction cliché, but I’ll have to remove Puki’s consciousness before her body dies. I’ve got a wicked set-up back there,” Yee Wei jinked his head in the general direction of one of the many rooms in the complex.

“Then, once the spirit is separated from the body, we can simply discard this tattered mess and put the spirit in another body.”


***

Charmaine expected to see shiny stainless steel casings, clear glass vessels, matt white aluminium struts and translucent plastic tubing. Equipment with green traces plotting graphs, beeping instruments, hissing air pipes, thrumming ventilators, drooping intra-venous drips. And most important of all, a sort of sinister probe to the head for extracting a backup of Puki’s spirit.

To her surprise, the room was devoid of anything like movie set props. Next to the dirty, lumpy bed on which Puki laid comatose was a heavy wooden desk to which was clamped a contraption that looked like a hand-cranked sausage machine. On the top was a large funnel, presumably to put things in. On one side was the exit chute, where a crystal salad bowl sat ready to accept the products.


An example of a sausage machine. This particular model is motorised.

Yee Wei picked up a glinting blade and gave Puki’s abdomen a casual elongated slice, cutting through her blouse, epidermis, dermis, fatty tissues and abdominal muscles. He reached into the bloody, gaping fissure, and lifted the stomach from within. Still connected to the rest of the body via the oesophagus, intestine, arteries, veins and nerves, it continued to grind and wriggle, mixing and atomising the food slurry within. He slashed all its connections and the organ came free with an occasional squirt of bodily fluids. It also stopped moving. This he dumped into the sausage machine’s funnel with a wet plop. Semi-processed food slurry glugged out of the oesophagus with the gurgling sound of water escaping from an upturned water bottle.

When the liver, kidneys and spleen were also in the sausage machine, he turned the crank repeatedly. It was a laborious task.

“So, this poor character is tied to that messy Lin scandal?” Yee Wei asked Charmaine.
“Yup, I was initially sent to kill her but fate dealt me an unexpected blow.”
“Happens all the time… You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?”
“I’m actually, no I was actually Luke who worked at The Bloodied Fang. The waiter who usually brings you your usual serving of Deep Fried Dandelions.”
“Ah, I see. Happens all the time, too. Anyway you look better female than male.”

As the ingredients were processed, the sloppy pile in the funnel slowly ebbed into the machine. Yee Wei continued to churn the handle, and various objects began to clatter and tinkle into the crystal bowl.

Charmaine looked on in surprise. “What the…” she sputtered when a particularly odd object dropped out of the sausage machine and jangled into the bowl.

“Interesting isn’t it? Once I did this on a cat, and it’s consciousness was embodied by a collection of objects that included among them a neutron star. A neutron star! Bloody hell, I was very nearly crushed into a soup of sub-atomic particles. Anyway, I’ll summon my brother to find us a suitable body for Puki. He’s well versed in the art of borrowing things without permission.”

Yee Wei then walked over to a small side table at one corner of the room. Strangely, Charmaine did not notice its existence earlier. On it was a red telephone.

He picked up the receiver, and spoke into it after a few seconds.



***


I’ll now pass the responsibility of Chapter 28 to my brother Yee Hou. Nonono, this is not cronyism; no one else I know would do it.


Personal

untitled

I haven’t done one of those annoying questionnaires in ages, which is a good thing seeing that they are in fact annoying, as already mentioned.

I came upon one such questionnaire on Yvy’s blog, and something in me stirred.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
They must have felt as if a treasury had been opened before their eyes. Listen to the words of Bernard of Chartres, a scholar living in 12th century France: “We are…”

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
And then what?

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
It’s been ages since I actually turned on the television to watch something.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
9.40pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
9.23pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
A clock ticking. More precisely, the escapement mechanism of a clock ticking.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This afternoon. Went to a beach area with David to jalan-jalan.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Porn.
Cynical Idealist, Ah Pek and plink’s blogs. And of course, the source of these questions, Yvy. Yes, Ah Pek did it too but I read Yvy earlier this morning.

9. What are you wearing?
No one cares ok.

10. Did you dream last night?
No.

11. When did you last laugh?
Probably sometime this afternoon.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
They’re bare. I still haven’t got the hooks to hang those stuffed animal heads and polished swords.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Articulating my opinions might cause me to be classified as homophobic by self righteous radicals.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Yvy said ,"let’s just say I prefer the ones where I can unleash my creative vocabulary."
I would agree.

15. What is the last film you saw?
The Machinist.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pfft... I haven’t actually thought how I would spend money that comes dropping out of the celestial sphere.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
What if there exists at least one god?
What if one of these gods is all-knowing?
What if one of these all-knowing gods is reading this?
Then what am I to say?

For the sake of this question, I’ll make the assumption that an all-knowing god does not exist.

I’m a sucker for good lighting. Especially diffuse and natural lighting.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Wouldn’t it be easier to change the self?
Anyway, I’d make 6 x 8 = 42.

19. Do you like to dance?
No, I’m too self conscious. Which is really quite a dumbass excuse.

20. George Bush.
Why did Osama kill his wife?
Because when he lifted her skirt he saw Bush.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Eta Carina.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Andromeda.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Stay, yes. Live, no.

24.What do you want god to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Woi! Remember me arr?"

25. Five (5) people who must might want to do this meme in their journal.
I cannot imagine who...

Another guided composition

Update 2.40pm April 5th:

The following individuals have done their compositions. It seems the uncommon words have kicked everyone's brains into afterburn- just look at the incredible works out there. Congratulations.

Charmaine - humour. A man with PMS and a mamak who graduated from the World Toilet University.

Yuan Harng - academia with a touch of humour. "Why does papa have to die in that accident of crashing Ox carts?"

Yvy - drama. "O my Lordy!! What are you babbling about, young man?!"

***

Just for the heck of it, I’m going to (attempt to) break into Yvy’s niche of producing essay challenges.

Write a composition using the following 10 words.
The composition is not to be more than 300 words in length.
The words must be used in the order found on the list.
Each word presented in the list must be used only once.

10 random numbers were generated using MS Excel, and their values correlated to the entries in the Oxford English Dictionary.

So here goes...

Actinide
Juvenescence
Ease
Oval Office
Cottager
Accede
Biryani
Crashing
Screenplay
Space shuttle


Okaaay, this is a tad bit more challenging that I had expected…

Now to define the slightly trickier terms:

Actinide - chemistry any of the series of fifteen radioactive metallic elements from actinium (atomic number 89) to lawrencium (atomic number 103) in the periodic table.

Juvenescence - formal youth.

Cottager – a person living in a cottage

Accede - (usually ‘accede to’) formal
1 assent or agree to.
2 assume (an office or position).

Biryani – variant spelling of biriani
An Indian dish made with highly seasoned rice and meat, fish, or vegetables.

Screenplay - the script of a film, including acting instructions and scene directions.

Actinide
Juvenescence
Ease
Oval Office
Cottager
Accede
Biryani
Crashing
Screenplay
Space shuttle


***

“So, what’s this actinide you say your men found in my land?” the weathered man asked, all traces of juvenescence having been erased from his face by years of hard work. He had asked the question with an ease commonly found in people not intimately familiar with the periodic table’s lower rows.

“It’s a class of radioactive metals. Exactly which element we are not sure, but it might well be Berkelium or Fermium,” said the man, a fake grin plastered on his face. He had aspirations for the Oval Office, although his secretary mistress says it’s impossible.

“I see. So is it safe for me to continue working in the fields?” the cottager asked. If the land was too dangerous to work on, he’d have to hire Mexican hands to do the job.

“The problem is that Washington may demand the land from you. It’s impossible not to accede to their wishes. Mind-control bastards…” the senator explained, “must be the things they put in the Biryani rice.”

“The what rice?” The farmer had never liked rice, partly due to the fact that he planted wheat for a living. Mentioning rice to the wheat farmer was like a dramatic crashing of ideologies.

“Nah, I was joking. Just something I picked up from a screenplay,” the senator tried to smooth out the bump. The farmer continued to glare at him suspisciously.

“So, did you see the space shuttle’s catastrophic launch yesterday?” the senator tried to make small talk.

“Nope. No TV,” the farmer replied gruffly, “What about my land?”

257 words

***

I'm not explicitly asking anyone to do this, but it may be of interest to Ah Pek, Charmaine, plink, Yee Hou, Yuan Harng and Yvy. Oh whatever... you're all tagged. Go do it.

Narration

More exciting word games

Yvy is on the roll, bravo! She has produced yet another list of words that are to be used in a composition no longer than 200 words. The new rule this time is that words on the list may not be repeated. As always, words should be used in order.

sleepover
whip
handcuffs
leather
sexy
threesome
hairy
shotgun
squeeze
explosion

In today’s news, famed playgirl-physicist Eta-Carina has cancelled this evening’s long anticipated sleepover party, citing reluctance to whip up a media frenzy over noise regulation infringements.

A disappointed guest was quoted as saying that "she ought to be handcuffed and lashed several times with a leather belt." "That will be sexy," the guest added.

Eta-Carina, who was previously in the news for alleged misconduct with a threesome of musicians, said that it would be rude to disturb her neighbours, adding that she did not want anymore "hairy situations with the nice folks".

Elsewhere in Praesepe, a man was taken in by police early in dawn near Maranello to aid in investigations of yesterday's shotgun roberry at the Praesepe Central Bank. The police have yet to name any suspects but are confident they will resolve the matter shortly.

In today’s technology updates, engineers at Sony have developed a possible replacement for keyboards by using a soft foam ball that is squeezed using only one hand. Test users were able to adopt the technology quickly, and are current 'typing' at well over 80 words per minute. "There’s really an explosion of interest from video game manufacturers," a Sony spokesperson said.

198 words

***

I’m quite proud of pulling this off. Taking the news report angle was a nice step out of the box for me, and has enabled the diverse words to be used with little fuss.

And now, to pass this game on, I give it to Sonia and Wei Yi. It's not easy (blame Yvy), but do have fun!


Eta Carina (with no hyphen) is actually the name of a massive star about 7500 light years away from the earth. With a mass of 100 to 150 solar masses, it is thought that this star approaches the theoretical limit on the masses of stellar objects. Apart from the fact that it is expected to go supernova (or even hypernova) in the next million years, it is also blessed with what I think is an elegant name. [reference]


Personal

WordyWord Meme by Yvy

Yvy started this little story telling game, and I picked it a few days late from Sonia and Yvy’s pages. The point of the game is to write a tale in no more than 109 words using the following 10 words, in order.

1. agent
2. headmaster
3. skirt miniskirt [see edited section below]
4. tomboy
5. fire
6. 69
7. love
8. piglet
9. stinks
10. teh tarik

"And so we’ve simulated student behaviour using agent-based mathematical models," the salesperson-mathematician droned on, the headmaster nearly nodding off from boredom.

The mathematician stepped from the lectern, her elegant skirt contrasting with her short tomboy haircut. "Now, it is obvious that..."

"Excuse me sir," a clerk interrupted, "it’s an incident in room B69. Some boys were caught playing with fire and magnesium strips."

"Sigh... it’s them again. Can’t they just find someone to love and quiet down? Let Piglet handle this." Piglet was the chemistry teacher and discipline master’s nickname.

He turned to the mathematician, "being a headmaster stinks. Let’s go for a teh tarik."
"Yes, we’ll continue later."

109 words

***

Edited 7.50pm:
Yvy told me that word number 3 should be miniskirt instead of skirt. The composition has thus been reworked to fit a miniskirt onto a mathematician. Fortunately this particular lady has nice long legs that would not complain about the skirt's lack of length.

All modifications italicised. Words from the list will no longer be highlighted.


"And so we’ve simulated student behaviour using agent-based mathematical models," the salesperson-mathematician droned on, the headmaster nearly nodding off from boredom.

The mathematician stepped from the lectern, her miniskirt and tomboy haircut jarring with common perception of mathematicians. "Now, it is obvious that..."

"Excuse me sir," a clerk interrupted, "it’s an incident in room B69. Some boys were caught playing with fire and magnesium strips."

"Sigh... it’s them again. Can’t they just find someone to love and quiet down? Let Piglet handle this." Piglet was the chemistry teacher and discipline master’s nickname.

He turned to the mathematician, "being a headmaster stinks. Let’s go for a teh tarik."
"Sounds good."

109 words

***

People who I think may appreciate this little foray into guided narrations are:
Yee Hou
Yuan Harng

Sorry it's mathematics again.The first thing that came to mind after spies prancing about in black suits was agent-based modelling used to simulate the behavior of large groups of interacting semi-intelligent entities. Such as pre-programmed robots, humans, flies and business firms.

Personal

Valentine's meme

The date actually says Tue 14

What did you do for last Valentine’s?
Nothing particularly Valentine-ish. I actually don’t remember; probably buffing my nails.

What are you planning to do for next (tomorrow’s) Valentine’s?
What did you do this Valentine’s?
Went for a nice lunch with my aunt
Vacuumed up some broken glass from a fractured light bulb
Ate dinner
Buffed my left thumb and index nails
Snapped some photos
THIS MEME



For comparison: thats the left index and the middle fingers

What would be the ideal place to celebrate Valentine’s?
Genting Highlands!
Snigger

What qualities in a person would make an ideal Valentine’s date for you?
Specifically for this day, qualities that would go towards this objective of an ideal VD would be not falling for VD marketing hype.

What gifts would you buy / have bought for your partner?
A stuffed bear costing (cost, not worth) RM 960.

What gifts would you buy / have received from your partner?
Erm… a nail buffing kit?


What is your favourite all-time romantic movie?
Kill Bill

If you could choose any person on earth to be your date on Valentine’s, who would it be?
Let’s defer answering this question to a more appropriate date.


Personal

St. Valentine's with a twist - a meme

Warning: Open ended meme and potentially disturbing scenes in this post. Proceed with caution.

St. Valentine’s day is near, and to honour this remarkable celebration of capitalism, marketing genius and herd behaviour, Yuan Harng has found a new game to play.

Write a short romantic excerpt of a facist/ dictator/ neo-imperalist leader [e.g.] George Bush, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, etc.

Click here for Yuan Harng’s nifty excerpt.


***

Vlad the Impaler (1431-1476)

“I heard rumours of your dealings with the Ottomans.”
“My lord, that is not true! I have always been loyal to you!” Razvan pleaded for mercy.

Vlad nodded slightly at his men, and a few men grabbed hold of Razvan. As he was led away, the prisoner did not flail about, but continued pleading his innocence.

From the crowd of villagers that had formed, a woman erupted forth.
“Spare him, please. He did no wrong,” Catalina urged.
Vlad cast an indifferent glance at her, and continued watching Razvan being prepared for his execution. Razvan appeared to have given up his dishonest appeals and was anticipating his agonising death with fear.

A stake was erected firmly in the ground with its sharpened end pointing skyward. With the help of a few horses and some guiding hands, Razvan was lifted above the stake.

Razvan was then lowered onto the pointed end of the stake, the wood driving into his back, rupturing his stomach, spleen, diaphragm and left lung before piercing through his rib cage to emerge from his chest. He lost control of his bowels; faecal matter, stomach contents and blood mixed in a disturbing mixture on the ground. In great pain he hung in midair, only supported by the same stake that ruptured his innards.

Catalina went to Razvan’s side, stroking his forehead, whispering to him, kissing his cheeks. She did all she could to make his long death slightly less horrible.

The punctured lung, intruding stake and ruptured diaphragm made breathing difficult for Razvan. His breaths were shallow and rapid, barely sufficient to make up for the effort to merely take in the air.

Death by impalement is particularly cruel because the victim does not die from ruptured organs, but mostly due to exposure to the elements or dehydration. In the mean time, the victim suffers from great pain.

“Please, die quickly,” Catalina pleaded to Razvan’s already inert ears, cradling his head to her chest.

The crowd started to disperse and by sunset, only Catalina remained with Razvan.

The first villagers to walk by the next morning noted that Catalina had died in the overnight blizzard with Razvan in her arms.


***

I am passing this game to Yvy (the self proclaimed meme-magnet), plink, and anyone else interested.


I think I forgot to mention that St. Valentine’s Day is also a celebration of love.


Personal

The prompted essay meme

Updates:

Unknown to me, Ah Pek had actually done this meme (with the same 10 words) a few hours ago and tagged me. And here I am tagging him...

Sonia has already completed hers, one that would plant a very disturbing image in your mind.

Yee Hou has also done his.

Tagged myself after seeing the fun Yvy had. No fancy introduction this time (like this and this); the meme itself is amusing enough.

The Golden Rules:
Write an entry of between 100-200 words, with these words have to be included once, and only once:

I
me saggy
blowjob
grapes
random
power
loneliness
liquid
robot sheets
blue

Cookie points if you can use them in order. But not necessary, it’s supposed to be a challenge ~ so I’ve been told.

Out of the 10 words, you can only change 2 words.

Your essay must make some kind of sense.

Send to 5 people.
ob!ique, since she gets bored at work sometimes
David Chong, since he gets bored at home sometimes
Yee Hou
Sonia
Ah Pek, because it will be interesting to see the poet get working on this


***

A day in the life of Thumbelina in her later years
- if she had not escaped the toad

“Come here, my dear Thumby, I am waiting,” the frog croaked cheekily from the bed.

Thumbelina glared at her husband, with his moist, saggy skin hanging loose around his once muscular frame. “Don’t disturb me; the tadpoles need help with their jurisprudence homework.”

“Just a quick blowjob?” he asked hopefully, almost pleading.
From a bowl of grapes, she picked up one of the firm juicy orbs. She whipped her entire body around, turning her feet, hips, waist and shoulders. Her triceps contracted, her wrist snapped, and she let the fruit loose into the air.

It zinged towards the old sagging frog, and hit him between his large eyes. The fruit’s epidermis ruptured, and tasty but pulpy bits splattered in seemingly random directions from the power of the impact.

“Do. Not. Disturb.” Thumbelina repeated herself with an acidic overtone.

A pang of intense loneliness hit the old frog as he licked up the grape pulp from his face and the bed. Some of the liquid from the impact had seeped into the beautiful sheets, ruining its rich ultramarine hue of blue.

Disappointed, the frog shuffled away to watch Big Brother on the television.

~191 words

Personal

Tagged

From the depths of the lake, a capsule rose towards the surface. It breached the perfectly still water surface, like a Soviet Typhoon submarine piercing the silent artic ice floes, with an abrupt whoosh and splash, and then silence as the waves quickly calmed, the only noises audible being little rivulets of water still dripping and running down the external cladding to the water surface and stirring little ripples that propagated outward in circular arcs.

The capsule’s hull parted, and a figure slipped into the water. Having been underwater but separated from the cool liquid for several days, he savoured the refreshing sensation.


Far away in the distance, an engine started up before abruptly revving angrily. Emerging from the far shore, a tiny boat slowly came into view. It was a long, slender craft, powered by a pair of supercharged Mercury 275 hp marine engines. The dart-like craft headed towards the swimmer, its bow raised in the air as it skipped through the calm lake surface, its twin impellers churning the water behind into a menacing foam.

The engines paused momentarily as the pilot switched into reverse thrust, before going full throttle again. The boat’s hull slapped onto the water surface, and a plume of foam began jetting towards the front of the boat instead of behind.

The slender aluminium boat drew to a stop next to the stunned swimmer, and the pilot revealed herself over the hull. Recovering his composure, the swimmer asked acidly, “what was that for?”

plink the pilot ignored his question, “I’ve got you a graduation present!”
She opened her palm, and a wisp of light fluttered out.
“What’s that?”
“You’ve been tagged,” she explained, “It’s an idea, by the way.”
“It’s beautiful. I follow The Blog(u): A Blogger's Tale series, but never expected an idea to look so… remarkable.”
plink grinned. “Well, I’ve got to take my leave now. Going to see someone else,” with that, she disappeared behind the hull.

The engines barked to life, and idled quietly as plink manoeuvred the boat around. The craft was pointed back to the shore where she came from, heading away from the swimmer. As she engaged into gear, the propellers began to windmill lazily in the water.

A flash of realisation hit the swimmer, and he tried to get out of the way of the impellers’ thrust. He was too late. Plink pushed the throttle to wide open, and a column of water gushed at him.

As plink sped away, the swimmer thought he heard a mischievous cackle of laughter from the boat.


***

Jot down as many things as you can think of beginning with, 'I have come to realize…'

I have come to realise that:

I am getting tardy with this self propagating meme
A meme is a behavioural trait that propagates without the use of genes
However, I believe that if one is intent on building a mathematical model of the spread of a meme, it would still look very much like the model of a bacterial colony, with mutation rates, competition for resources (attention), propagation rates…
But memes would have high mutation rates compared to bacteria due to people executing the meme as they perceive it to be, not as the originator intends it to be.
I have no idea why I suddenly thought of creating a mathematical model of a meme.

I am actually contributing to the mutation rate by deviating slightly from the earlier method of explicitly starting every sentence with “I have come to realise that”.
Some of the preceding points do not actually go very well with the “I have come to realise that” bit because mentally, they were composed away from that phrase.
I can’t be bothered to undo the damage; let the mutation continue

I spent more time writing the introduction than actually doing the meme.
Meme reminds me of Mini Me, a very disturbing image.

I'm not sure if it's fantastic or daft, but the second sentence in this post is a massive 62 words long. Blame it on the submarines...


Personal

Another tag

I must have annoyed Pamela by tagging her the last time. She counter attacked!


Ten years ago I was
12 years old.

Five years ago I was
In a school I did not really feel comfortable in. I was glad to be out of that place. However, I cannot deny that there are were some very good teachers.

One year ago I was
Not doing a lot of productive things.

Yesterday I was
Extremely cross at myself for forgetting to bring my keys out with me. Upon returning to find that I was locked out, I had to take a walk back to the university to get Adrian’s keys from him, then trudge back home to let myself in. I had actually intended to drop my things home and walk over to Safeway to get some ice cream, but the lack of keys screwed the plan up. Stupid me keys.

Good thing I got the ice cream this morning on my way back from the library.

5 snacks I enjoy:
Coffee, preferably with a bit of Bailey’s Irish Cream
Ice cream
Chocolates
More coffee
Coffee beans coated with dark chocolate

5 songs I know all the words to:
Happy Birthday
Negaraku

If there are n words in the song, and I know m words of the song, then I know all the words in the song if and only if n=m.

This being the case, I know the all the words to these songs, since n = m = 0

The Moment, Kenny G
Riverdance
Exodus, Maksim Mrvica
Matsuri, Kitaro

:p



5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
Count them to make sure its 100,000,000 dollars as opposed to 99,999,999 or 100,000,001 dollars.
Then change them all into coins.
Really, I don’t know what to do with 10^8 dollars. Yet.

5 bad habits:
Procrastination
Procrastination
Procrastination
Procrastination
Procrastination

5 biggest joys:
My family and friends
Managing to snap a decent photograph
Reading
Writing something I am happy with
Driving a ‘difficult’ manual vehicle smoothly

5 places I would runaway to:
Rowden White library
Architecture library – lots of large windows for wonderful natural light
Murni SS2
Blogs

5 things I would never wear:
High heeled espradrilles and platform shoes
Leather briefs
Stockings
G string
Cancer sticks/ cigarettes

Notice I did not mention lacy lingerie?

5 favourite TV shows:
Telecasts of the Formula 1 Grand Prix races


5 fictional characters I would date:
Mini Me, clone of Dr. Evil in the film “Austin Powers”
Trinity, “Matrix Trilogy”
The Architect, “Matrix Trilogy”
月飞 (‘Moon’- what a horrid English translation. Can’t she be Yuet Fei or something?), “Hero”
Pinocchio from “Shrek 2”- he wears women’s underwear!

People I’m tagging:
None. It’s a long task.



Note[added 9 October 05]:
More rubbish in the comments.


Personal