Friday, August 25, 2006

Women are NOT abalone

This evening at the restaurant, the new head chef (Tony left a few weeks ago) asked me, “What do you want for tonight’s supper?”

Not willing to rake my brains, I replied, “anything.”

He then turned to someone else and asked the same question. “鲍鱼 (abalone),” came the quick reply, accompanied with a laugh.

“We don’t have abalone.”
“处边有一只 (there’s one outside),” he replied, nodding his head in the direction of the doors leading from the kitchen to the dining floor.

They laughed merrily.

There are not many things that annoy me, but one of them is the treatment of women as objects of desire. As ventilators of a man’s sexual urges. As a mere vagina (note the absence of ovaries and fallopian tubes- we are talking about ventilating sexual urges, not satisfying reproductive desires. They are not identical.).

Due to certain geometric similarities, abalone is sometimes used as a euhemerism for vagina. In other words, a vagina and an abalone looks similar, and when people refer to eating abalone, watch for hidden meanings.

In the above case, the meaning was not hidden; it was clear as the waters of the South China Sea.

I’ll admit, treatment of women as sexual objects only pisses me off when the issue at hand concerns someone I know personally. I can’t be bothered about porn models- I do not know them, and they are in the industry. But when the individual is a colleague or an acquaintance, it gets disturbingly close to home.

As of now, I have not had to contend with witnessing someone very close to me being the unwitting victim of this derogatory act. I admire Charmaine’s vow that "If [she] ever catches anyone saying stuff like “She's so hot I wanna bang her” about any of [her] friends, [she] won't let [that person] walk away with everything intact, even if [he’s] a friend."

If the situation involved someone closer to me, a family member or a close friend, I do not know how I’d react. I tried imagining what I might respond with, and it was not encouraging. The problem is that I tend to want rigorous proof and watertight justification before drastic action and on conceptually slippery slopes such as morality and respect, my logical system is not yet sufficiently developed to get a firm hold.

So, how would you respond if someone refereed to your family member, friend, partner as an ‘abalone’?

PS- the statistical thermodynamics entry has been pushed back a bit due to a new investigations being done. And this post is more important.



Blogger 小李飞刀 said...

Haha..ha(laughs uneasily)

Will make a mental note of this paritcular tick of yours.

Anyway, growing up in a culture of female objectification, I find it hard to draw the line between harmless banter and degoratory insult.

For me, I wont mind such jokes, as long as they dont involve my mom.

6:01 am, August 25, 2006  
Blogger David said...

Lao Chen,

I think i get where ur getting at. Make you stand clear. If they know she is someone close to you and yet says something like this, then they are very kurang ajar and would need to be reprimanded there and then. It's important. If a person is your girl friend, make sure people know and make it CLEAR to everyone who she 'belongs' (not literally but u know what i mean) to, so they will not say stuff like that. If they know and yet say something like that, they really 'tong lei mo tou' and need to be shot at.


Take care and call/ write of you ever need to talk.

9:09 am, August 25, 2006  
Blogger Lao Chen said...

Mr Lee:
Yes, the line is very fuzzy. I tend not to care about abstract references, but when the wavefunction collapses on a real individual (so to speak), it is a different matter.

"Ta ma de ..."
"Ni ma de ..."

Mm, noted. It's actually not as narrow as 'girl friend'. If it was your sister or an ex-schoolmate I'd still react.

2:16 pm, August 25, 2006  
Blogger Dr. Tan said...

I see we have the same stand. Yes I do have some weird jokes once in a while, but not to the point of bearded clams or abalones.

4:59 pm, August 25, 2006  
Blogger sonia said...

If he's a friend, I'd say things nicely at first. But if he still thinks the "joke" is funny OR trying to imply 'I'm a guy and so it's ok for me to be like that' OR watever stupid things (such as talking back =P), I would definitely put on a serious@offended look & scold him nicely!!

As for strangers..... I dunno what I'll do.. Prolly just give him a (almost) killer stare? Dunno leh...

6:55 pm, August 25, 2006  
Blogger ChinoDevean said...

As a start to Team Malat world domination, we can now mark this as the first official post, whereby TYW attempts to describe a characteristic of "Shannon-ness", also a Team Malat Registered Trademark

11:35 pm, August 25, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I eat it all, and do not care if you get ticked off or not.

1:21 am, January 14, 2014  

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