Saturday, July 30, 2005

My first exposure to sex

Back in the early 90s, when I was not much more than a boy of 10, I learned what ‘sex’ meant. A class mate told me that it involved the man putting his lan into the woman’s pepet. I was mildly fascinated by such an elegant phenomenon, where the protrusion of one fits into the recession of the other.

I did not give the matter much more notice than that cursory spark of interest. Yes, I was among those that actively made silly jokes about penises and breasts, but they were more out of fascination than sexual awareness. Notice the absence of the vagina- it was completely foreign thing to us. In similar vein, you would not expect a German farmer to make jokes about asam laksa. No, neither do I know of any good asam laksa jokes.

The ‘sex’ matter was forgotten until one day at my grandparent’s house. It was a slow weekend afternoon, and a movie of sorts was on the television. My uncle and a cousin or two were half-heartedly watching the moving images. As I passed through the living room with my cousin David, we paused to look at the television. At that moment, the scene was of a man and a woman kissing. For no explainable reason, I blurted out something to the effect of “maybe they are doing sex,” before moving on.

Once out of the living room, David stopped me and sternly told me that “my father knows what sex is.” “Oh.”



*In hindsight, it is perhaps surprising that my uncle managed to conceal his (presumed) surprise instead of abruptly sitting up and gasping for air.

5 Comments:

Blogger shifty said...

oh i should blog about how i learnt what sex was. it'll be a blank post cos i can't even recall it. lol.

7:42 am, July 30, 2005  
Blogger Shanker said...

I learned it from wathcin the movie "4 Weddings & A Funeral". There's a small soft porn scene... or mebbe there's a whole scene cos i never found out. Mum realised and made sure we fast-forwarded (VCR) it.

9:07 am, July 30, 2005  
Blogger sonia said...

Haha.. (Me 'same boat' with oblique)! =P

Btw, what's with the "slapping seminar"? Sumore teach how to repeatedly slap someone?? Haha..

2:57 am, July 31, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
Hmm, i vaguely remembered that. :) Damn i do miss po po's house when we go there sometimes. Though it's quite a bore with nothing much to do but a lot seem to happen at night yeah. Remember lotsa old chinese movies and ghost movies on tv:)

9:53 pm, July 31, 2005  
Blogger Lao Chen said...

oblique & Sonia:
You two can make up really interesting stories you know. Like maybe you were walking in the playground when you heard muffled sounds from the concrete tubes. It sounded like 2 wounded hayenas fighting it out. Upon inspection it proved to be...et cetera, et cetera.

shan:
Wasted opportunity lar... you could have sneaked at the tape later and then run it to that scene just for more enlightenment :p.

sonia:
Well, if you slap very well, you might be recruited to some specialist slapping agency...

David:
Glad you remember that. Maybe we can reenact that scene sometime in the future? Yea, the afternoons are uber-slow but the night when the adults are unconscious (we feed them flu meds) then the night comes alive.

11:39 pm, July 31, 2005  

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